![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 14 to 38 of 38. Go back in thread:
Posted by caraher on November 7, 2005, at 9:26:48
In reply to Re: My feelings, posted by happyflower on November 6, 2005, at 17:56:10
> Thanks you all for being honest with me. I need to hear it, I can take it. Maybe I shouldn't post about this anymore.
Why not? If anything it seems like you have even more reason to post, if only to use us as a sounding board.
Stay happy but don't get hurt!
Posted by Tamar on November 7, 2005, at 11:13:53
In reply to Re: My feelings, posted by happyflower on November 6, 2005, at 17:56:10
Another perspective…
I don’t think it’s necessarily inappropriate for your therapist to ask if you’ve thought of having affairs with other men. Perhaps he’s challenging you to think about your commitment to your marriage and whether you would seriously consider getting sex elsewhere since you’re not getting it at home. I think many people would think about it a little… but some people might be more prepared to have an affair than others. I think it might be a good thing that he asked, because if you *are* ever tempted to have an affair it’s best if you can understand your feelings and thoughts about it rather than just drifting into it and then regretting it deeply.
As for the question of whether there could be anything positive about a relationship with your T… Let’s imagine that you both decide you want a relationship and you both get divorced and you’re prepared to wait two years before having sex (I can’t quite imagine waiting two years to have sex… but of course I’m a pervert). I know you two have a lot in common and it seems obvious that you’re attracted to each other. So if you want my honest opinion, I think it could probably feel extremely positive at first. I imagine it could be very exciting and in some ways very healing and comforting. I can imagine that if everything went well, you’d feel accepted and adored and happy and fortunate and lots of other great things.
But I can’t help thinking of the possible negative consequences alongside the positives. And I think I’d agree with many of the things other people have posted – it can be dangerous to embark on a relationship with a therapist and many of the people who have tried it have been very hurt. Perhaps the two year rule helps, but it’s not really a guarantee of happiness. And perhaps some people have found that after a two year wait the guy wasn’t as hot in bed as they’d fantasised, or he wasn’t the wonderful man they’d known in therapy after all. I’m sure you realise your T has faults, but do you know what they all are and whether you could live with them? My main worry at the moment is that by crossing boundaries and chatting with you in his lunch hour he seems to be encouraging you to hope for something (like a friendship or relationship) that he hasn’t promised.
I’m not going to talk a lot about the negative stuff because you know all that. And I can understand why you want to think about the possible positives. Actually, I think it’s a good thing to focus on the positives: I think it could give you an idea of what you want from a relationship in general (whether with him or your husband or someone else). I also think it’s good to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship you already have with him. It seems from what you say that he’s helped you a lot and he’s an important person in your life; he makes you feel good about yourself and he genuinely likes you.
But if you feel that you want him as a partner, I’d reckon it’s important to keep talking about it… at least here at Babble if you can’t talk to him about it at the moment. I worry when you say that perhaps you shouldn’t post about it any more, because it sounds to me as if it’s so painful to you that you want to hide from it. Maybe I’m wrong about that…
What do I know? Maybe you could have a real life relationship with him. Maybe you’d be one of the few success stories. You would definitely have to make the first move, though…
(((((Happyflower)))))
Tamar
Posted by B2chica on November 7, 2005, at 11:21:30
In reply to Re: My feelings, posted by happyflower on November 6, 2005, at 17:56:10
please don't stop posting about it. this is the place to get it all out. to be blunt, to tell us what you want to tell him. sometimes just saying it to someone safe is enough. and you don't really want what you think you want, maybe cuz you know you shouldn't is edging you more to think that you want it.....uh, did i make sense??
anyway. DON"T stop posting about this.
1)you need to express your true feelings
2)it can be cathardic
3)you can get good advice
and
4)we can live vicariously through you!!!
:^)i think that going over the time cuz with chit chat is fine, i do that with my t all the time. we have SO much in common it's scary. and maybe him asking about the affairs isn't cuz he want to have one with you but helping you explore your sexuality??
(though in my heart i do think he has his own interests in mind).i do however, think that he should be aware that he is blurring the lines with you, since he does not...that's worrying.
i think you DO care for him BECAUSE you are feeling better becuase of all he's helped you with. you feel connected because of all you've shared, because he's been there for you, and of course some physical attraction.the main advice i say is to take this seriously, don't just blow off his actions to harmless flirting or curiosity.
PLEASE put yourself first and what is really best for you.
best wishes
FWIW
b2c.
Posted by happyflower on November 7, 2005, at 11:36:46
In reply to Re: My feelings » happyflower, posted by Tamar on November 7, 2005, at 11:13:53
> > I don’t think it’s necessarily inappropriate for your therapist to ask if you’ve thought of having affairs with other men. Perhaps he’s challenging you to think about your commitment to your marriage and whether you would seriously consider getting sex elsewhere since you’re not getting it at home.
What you are saying is the way I took the questions. I didn't feel they were wrong to ask, maybe a little nosy, but I am the one who brought up that my thoughts were going elsewhere about other people because I am missing the closenss of sex and caring. This was part of the conversation where we were talking about my marriage problems.
I just kinda feel my posts about this is upsetting people or giving them false hope about their own T's. So I thought maybe I shouldn't talk about this here. What do you think? There seems to be some very strong opinions about this topic.
All I know is what I feel in my heart, and I don't feel him having feelings for me are one sided. I think we have mutual feelings for each other. I don't know where he stands in his marriage and I don't know if he feels about me as strongly in the same way. Or if he did, will he let himself act on it.
Today I saw him at the gym, and we do have a special chemsistry with each other and I can tell how he smiles at me he really likes me. Maybe this is all that will become of it, and I think I will be okay with it. I am not letting myself get too carried away, because I am afraid of getting hurt. I am just going to take it slowly and see what happens.
I think you are right that I will have to make the first move, because if he did, he would be risking a lot, if I didn't feel the same way. Right now I am enjoying his company and flirting . You have to admit, who doesn't like to be noticed and liked? It feels good, I can't help it. I do feel these are real feeling, not projections of somebody else. I wish he wasn't so cute, it might make it easier! LOL Thanks Tamar, I value your advice. :)
Posted by happyflower on November 7, 2005, at 11:52:39
In reply to Re: My feelings, posted by B2chica on November 7, 2005, at 11:21:30
> please don't stop posting about it. this is the place to get it all out. to be blunt, to tell us what you want to tell him. sometimes just saying it to someone safe is enough. and you don't really want what you think you want, maybe cuz you know you shouldn't is edging you more to think that you want it.....uh, did i make sense??
I got ya, I think! LOL I thought!
>
> 4)we can live vicariously through you!!!
> :^)
I know some of you love this stuff! I do too, I can't help it! LOL> i think that going over the time cuz with chit chat is fine, i do that with my t all the time. we have SO much in common it's scary. and maybe him asking about the affairs isn't cuz he want to have one with you but helping you explore your sexuality??
> (though in my heart i do think he has his own interests in mind).I think he got kinda of jealous, becaue I was talking to this other guy, when he wanted my attention, because he wanted to point out the song that was playing while he was jogging around the track.
> the main advice i say is to take this seriously, don't just blow off his actions to harmless flirting or curiosity.
Can you please explain more by what you mean here? :)
> PLEASE put yourself first and what is really best for you.
> best wishes
> FWIWWhat does FWIW mean? LOL excuse my pc dumbness. LOL Thanks B2! :)
Posted by 10derHeart on November 7, 2005, at 12:58:00
In reply to Re: My feelings » B2chica, posted by happyflower on November 7, 2005, at 11:52:39
Posted by happyflower on November 7, 2005, at 14:19:57
In reply to FWIW = For What It's Worth :-) (nm) » happyflower, posted by 10derHeart on November 7, 2005, at 12:58:00
Posted by Tamar on November 7, 2005, at 16:42:10
In reply to Re: My feelings » Tamar, posted by happyflower on November 7, 2005, at 11:36:46
> I just kinda feel my posts about this is upsetting people or giving them false hope about their own T's. So I thought maybe I shouldn't talk about this here. What do you think? There seems to be some very strong opinions about this topic.
I don’t think you’re upsetting anyone. But I do think people are concerned about you and don’t want to see you get hurt, and that's why there are strong opinions. And I don’t think that you’re giving anyone false hope about their own Ts. Each therapy relationship is different and I know that what happens in your relationship isn’t something that could have happened in mine. I tend to assume other people know this too…
Also I agree with B2C: there is some vicarious pleasure in it! Your comment about throwing your panties was particularly fun! Though it might be a challenge to get them off under the fishnet pantyhose and the high heeled boots… have you considered wearing nylons instead? (Sorry; I’m very naughty!)
> All I know is what I feel in my heart, and I don't feel him having feelings for me are one sided. I think we have mutual feelings for each other. I don't know where he stands in his marriage and I don't know if he feels about me as strongly in the same way. Or if he did, will he let himself act on it.
Yeah… he might have feelings for you. I suppose the problem is how far he can express them and still be professional.
> Today I saw him at the gym, and we do have a special chemsistry with each other and I can tell how he smiles at me he really likes me. Maybe this is all that will become of it, and I think I will be okay with it. I am not letting myself get too carried away, because I am afraid of getting hurt. I am just going to take it slowly and see what happens.
It must be nice to see him at the gym. If I saw my T at the gym I’d probably feel both comforted and excited at seeing him outside his office. And I suppose you will probably continue to see him at the gym after termination, when the time comes. I guess I just wonder whether that knowledge keeps you from talking to him about your feelings now, because you might be hoping to develop the relationship in the gym after termination. Well, if it were me, that’s what I’d be thinking…
> I think you are right that I will have to make the first move, because if he did, he would be risking a lot, if I didn't feel the same way.
Not only that, but it’s in the rules. Therapists aren’t supposed to initiate personal relationships, even after therapy is over. So if you do want to start a relationship with him, you’d have to tell him!
> Right now I am enjoying his company and flirting . You have to admit, who doesn't like to be noticed and liked?
Absolutely! I think it’s good that you’re enjoying that aspect of therapy.
> It feels good, I can't help it.
And why should you ‘help it’? I think we need to find enjoyment in life where we can…
> I do feel these are real feeling, not projections of somebody else. I wish he wasn't so cute, it might make it easier! LOL Thanks Tamar, I value your advice. :)
Yes, I’m sure they’re real feelings. And I know what it’s like to have an attractive therapist. Sometimes I think it makes it harder, but other times I figure, if I’m going to have sexual feelings for my therapist, at least he’s attractive! Imagine if he were unattractive and I still wanted to do him? Argh!
There’s no easy answer, is there? But I think it might be helpful to talk to him about it…
Or at least think about the consequences of *not* telling him your feelings. What’s the best you could hope for if you don’t tell? What’s the worst that could happen if you don’t tell?
Tamar
Posted by 10derHeart on November 7, 2005, at 18:03:17
In reply to Re: FWIW = Fantastic,Wonderful,Insiteful, Women? (nm), posted by happyflower on November 7, 2005, at 14:19:57
Posted by B2chica on November 8, 2005, at 9:43:34
In reply to Re: My feelings » B2chica, posted by happyflower on November 7, 2005, at 11:52:39
> > the main advice i say is to take this seriously, don't just blow off his actions to harmless flirting or curiosity.
>
> Can you please explain more by what you mean here? :)
> > PLEASE put yourself first and what is really best for you.
> > best wishes
> > FWIW
>
> What does FWIW mean? LOL excuse my pc dumbness. LOL Thanks B2! :)
>
For what it's worth.
never dumness, there are still many acronyms i don't know...ya, i guess i just meant that part of me wants to say, wow, lucky- wish my T would say things like that. but the realistic me says, IF he does mean this seriously, and he really is flirty to initiate something that i don't think it's in your best interests and you should becareful as to how much you 'flirt' back.
i know that's an impossible task, (cuz it's fun and makes you-me-feel good). but that if it's for real, i don't think he has your best interest in mind...and somebody should.
i just care and don't want to see you hurt from all this.
take care
b2c.
Posted by Susan47 on November 9, 2005, at 22:48:22
In reply to Re: My feelings, posted by happyflower on November 6, 2005, at 17:56:10
Why do you say that maybe you shouldn't post about this anymore, happyflower? I'm just curious because you also said that we were a big help to you. I don't think anyone is upset with this exactly, but we are concerned, looking in on this from the outside is definitely different than being in the relationship. I don't want to spoil your fun. I know it's fun. I know it's great to be thought of as somebody by a man you really look up to.
But he is a therapist, happyflower, and you mentioned originally that if you were to have a relationship that's more than therapy but still follow the guidelines ... well, I don't know if the two are copacetic. (sp?)
Posted by Susan47 on November 9, 2005, at 23:08:44
In reply to Re: My feelings, posted by happyflower on November 6, 2005, at 17:56:10
I would love to hear that you've told your therapist your secret feelings about him. They're secret to him, but not really to us, right? I mean, we know you would love to have him feel the same way about you that you do him. I told my own therapist exactly how I felt, and he responded in a negative, frightened way. Which was extremely good for me. It made me angry, to know that he was using me for his ego gratification, but at least I always knew from that point on, where I stood. I didn't let it stop me, either, from expressing the scope of my emotions. He was a reluctant listener, because I made him listen over the answering machine. I don't think, after the initial confession, that I ever spoke to him personally about it again other than to say that he meant more to me than many other people I've known, even though I knew him for a short time only, because of the intimate nature of the therapy relationship. He fully agreed that this was a common phenomenon. I now think that my early self-disclosure as to the nature of my feelings for him, (I phoned once and told him I had a crush on him. He agreed that we all do this) was a smart thing to do. However, it made me angry to realize that in many ways, I was a plaything to this man. A woman who could and would feed his ego.
Just dont' let yourself be used, Happyflower. If I were you I would try to find the courage to disclose my feelings, and hopefully before it is no longer safe to do so. I'm wondering if perhaps the more time that goes by before a client discloses the nature of her sexual and emotional attraction to a therapist, the more opportunity there is for a mutual intimacy to develop which is unhealthy for both parties. ???
Posted by happyflower on November 10, 2005, at 9:24:13
In reply to Happyflower, posted by Susan47 on November 9, 2005, at 23:08:44
Hey! I am still here, my mind is still in a bit of a fog from last night concert. But I am going to take this slow. There is a lot to consider about all of this, and I am not one to make fast decisions on all of this.
I don't feel like I am being used, I actually feel good about all of this. I will tell him my feelings when I am ready to do it and when I am certain exactly what it is I am feeling. I do know for sure is that I like him a lot and enjoy his company a lot. If we were both single, it would be a great start to a relationship. But we aren't so it is very complicated.
I think he does have some feelings for me, but he is such a good T, and very respected by the community in a lot of areas, I dought he will risk that to be with me, regardless on how he feels. This is what I am expecting to happen.So if we were meant to be, then we will be together, maybe it might be a long time from now. All I know is that we do share *something special* between us. I don't know if it will be anthing more that what we have now. But right now, it feels good to me, I enjoy the flirting, and I am being careful. I am ALWAYS very careful in my life, this is one of the first times I feel like throwing all caution to the wind, and go with my heart. In the end, if all he can be to me was a therapist who helped me greatly in my life, I will still feel good about knowing him, even if I can't have everything I want. Thanks for caring about me, it means a lot. I will still post about this, because you all have been a great help to me. I just don't want to upset anyone. :)
Posted by allisonross on November 10, 2005, at 10:56:39
In reply to Re: Happyflower, posted by happyflower on November 10, 2005, at 9:24:13
>Hey! happy little flower!
Hey! I am still here, my mind is still in a bit of a fog from last night concert. But I am going to take this slow. There is a lot to consider about all of this, and I am not one to make fast decisions on all of this.
I am like that, too; veeeeryyy cautious (why do you think it took me 31 years to get a divorce?! LOL, LOL)
> I don't feel like I am being used, I actually feel good about all of this.
I feel the same way; I get a LOT out of it, even tho it is in a sense, painful at the same time. I told my t that I would rather "be in pain....with him, than without him"
I will tell him my feelings when I am ready to do it and when I am certain exactly what it is I am feeling.
When told my t about my feelings, he handled them ever so delicately, sensitively, and gently. No one could have handled the conversation any more exquisitely.
I do know for sure is that I like him a lot and enjoy his company a lot.
Ditto.
If we were both single, it would be a great start to a relationship.
Same here. Two years of flirting! LOL
But we aren't so it is very complicated.
Very.
> I think he does have some feelings for me, but he is such a good T, and very respected by the community in a lot of areas,
Hey, my t is ALSO a pastor. Double-whammy, LOL!
I dought he will risk that to be with me,
i feel the same way, except he hasn't stopped!
regardless on how he feels. This is what I am expecting to happen.
>
> So if we were meant to be, then we will be together, maybe it might be a long time from now.I've had the same thoughts. I knew we were connected/soul-mates from the beginning---the heart knows.
All I know is that we do share *something special* between us.
Ditto (after THREE years!)
I don't know if it will be anthing more that what we have now. But right now, it feels good to me, I enjoy the flirting, and I am being careful.
Same here; LOTS of flirting; but I (underline I) haven't crossed any boundaries.
I am ALWAYS very careful in my life,
This is ME...so very cautious. I joked with my t that the last thing I've ever been is: spontaneous! I think it all out, and then decide what the outcome might be, and so I don''t!
this is one of the first times I feel like throwing all caution to the wind, and go with my heart.
I feel EXACTLY the SAME way. Cautious, refined (well, except for my teasing ways),
but as I told my t, always used to Holding back, denying my passionate nature, and behaving, etc....
.but now (geeeez, Louise... after 3 years of flirting, seductive stuff, etc.....how long is one expected to hold back (meaning....me)
In the end, if all he can be to me was a therapist who helped me greatly in my life, I will still feel good about knowing him, even if I can't have everything I want.
Again, I feel EXACTLY the same. I even wrote him a poem (well, more than 1) about my gratitude at appearing like an angel in disguise to journey with me, while going thru the church uckiness.
For the FIRST time in my life, someone stood up for me. yes, i feel grateful, etc....but the love thing is about falling in love with someone you resonate with
(i never fell in love with any other therapists, so it isn't the Freud transference thing--although i am sure some will say so)We are alike in 28 different ways (I counted them, LOL)
Thanks for caring about me, it means a lot. I will still post about this, because you all have been a great help to me. I just don't want to upset anyone. :)
Hugs, n love [to all....who read this] , happy little concert player, Flower! Allison (Fairy-child), and sassy child!
Posted by Susan47 on November 10, 2005, at 23:32:07
In reply to Re: Happyflower, posted by happyflower on November 10, 2005, at 9:24:13
> Hey! I am still here, my mind is still in a bit of a fog from last night concert. But I am going to take this slow. There is a lot to consider about all of this, and I am not one to make fast decisions on all of this.
> I don't feel like I am being used, I actually feel good about all of this. I will tell him my feelings when I am ready to do it and when I am certain exactly what it is I am feeling. I do know for sure is that I like him a lot and enjoy his company a lot. If we were both single, it would be a great start to a relationship. But we aren't so it is very complicated.I just wonder how often therapists fall into the trap of encouraging romantic feelings in clients, without meaning to. I think perhaps it would be unprofessional of any therapist to know a client felt this way, and not to approach this issue directly, head-on, in therapy. I mean, how can the relationship be therapeutic if one of you has undisclosed romantic feelings for the other? In real life this doesn't work. I mean, say for instance I had a crush on a guy at work and he was married and we flirted but this man goes home to his Other every day and has sex with her and is intimate and does things with her that fulfill the both of them together, but he comes to work and flirts with the office girls, me being one of them. And say the office girls are unfulfilled themselves, and they look forward to seeing this guy and flirting with him, they fantasize about him and the more they see him the worse it gets for them, but even though he sees this as harmless flirting, because their lives aren't as personally fulfilled, they it as much more.
It's not right. And personally when it happened with this therapist, it made me crazy and extremely angry.
These feelings might just be a result of the particular relationship you have with your therapist, and I think the danger lies partly in thinking the relationship can be expanded. You kind of have a built-in hazard because you actually see him outside of work, at the track or the gym, and that's encouraging a feeling of familiarity. I see your therapist beginning to behave unprofessionally. That doesn't mean it would work, were the two of you to have a relationship outside therapy. In fact it would likely hurt both of you, probably you more than him. So just be careful.
But I know it's fun, I know it does fabulous things for your feelings of self-worth to get attention from this intelligent, sensitive, attractive and caring man. Someone who knows some of the deepest things about you. But do you know the deepest things about him?
Having a relationship outside therapy could be harmful just because you've come to him entrusting him not to reject you, trusting that he will accept and cherish the deepest parts of you. If you had a relationship that were to end, the good might be obliterated.
Just be careful, honey.
Remember that he has this type of relationship with many people. It's his job to understand, it's his job to be empathetic, and it's his job to make a connection so that he can help you.
Help being the operative word.
Don't stop posting about this and don't stop being excited about your opportunities in life, and about your attractiveness and sensuality and anything else positive that this man brings to you. But remember to be strong as well, inside yourself, and work on building your self-esteem irrespective of how this ends up. You have a lot of other things going on in your life so I feel you will be fine with this and enjoying the flirtation while it lasts likely won't be harmful.
Posted by happyflower on November 12, 2005, at 7:38:30
In reply to Re: Happyflower » happyflower, posted by Susan47 on November 10, 2005, at 23:32:07
Hi Susan, I just want to say that I appreceiate your comments on all of this, I am listening to you and your concerns.
I do know a lot about him, a lot of personal stuff too about him and his family. But he doesn't know everything about me, after all he only see's me for a short time every month. He knows some really bad stuff from my past, but so does other people.
I do believe that if our relationship would completly end, the healing I did about my past will still stay healed, after all I did it , with his help, but I am the one who did the work.
I don't know where this relationship will lead. I feel I do know my heart, and I have a good idea about what love is. I have had love in my life, so I know what it feels like. I can't say I am in love with him, but I do know it feels like the beginnings of it, mutually. Maybe it will never play out in real life. In fact it probably won't there is so much going against us, but it doesn't change my feelings.
I am not a despareate women, if my marriage fails, and I don't have a relationship with my T, I will be okay, and move forward with my life. No man is worth more to me than me.
Posted by happyflower on November 12, 2005, at 16:20:31
In reply to Re: Happyflower » Susan47, posted by happyflower on November 12, 2005, at 7:38:30
that you can't help who you fall in love with. He has also said that you fall in love with someone who fills your needs at the moment, maybe not someone for the rest of your life. My T says you can't control your feelings or thoughts.
So if he has feelings for me, he couldn't help it right? But you can control your actions, he says, which is right. So I don't know what I am trying to say but could it be possible for a T to fall in really fall in love with a client? Now I know it is his job to control his actions and he is, but couldn't my T be in love with me? Could it happen after all I am so lovable and irrestritable! LOL
Posted by allisonross on November 12, 2005, at 16:44:59
In reply to My T says..., posted by happyflower on November 12, 2005, at 16:20:31
> Hey, Happy Flower: Are you sure we are not sisters? Didn't we go to different schools together?!
My t said the same thing (can't help who you fall in love with), and I had said it.
that you can't help who you fall in love with. He has also said that you fall in love with someone who fills your needs at the moment, maybe not someone for the rest of your life. My T says you can't control your feelings or thoughts.
> So if he has feelings for me, he couldn't help it right? But you can control your actions, he says, which is right.My t says "as long as we talk about it, it isnt dangerous." We\ve talked about it a LOT.
So I don't know what I am trying to say but could it be possible for a T to fall in really fall in love with a client?
Why not? we are ALL human.
My t sez "therapy is a sexual dance." (Darn! I only wish he'd dance), and that he is very aware of a client being a woman, and he a man, etc....he is VERY aware of my irrisistableness!! LOO, LOL, Gosh knows, I love to flirt and play, and so does he. He told me "you are so much fun to play with."
eneNow I know it is his job to control his actions and he is, but couldn't my T be in love with me?
Of course he could, and probably is.
I am quite sure mine is, but he hasn't verbalized those words, but he HAS verbalized tons of stuff to say he is. When we were discussing my/our feelings he said (gulp), "you want me....to want you." Almost fell off the bed (ahhhh, I MEAN couch, LOL, LOL----thatza joke, a joke, a fantasy, only)
Could it happen after all I am so lovable and irrestritable!
We MUST be sisters. Outrageous (in a refined way, is my style, LOL)LOL
Hugs, sis (Ally)
Posted by happyflower on November 12, 2005, at 16:48:47
In reply to Re: My T says...(Mine sez same!!), posted by allisonross on November 12, 2005, at 16:44:59
Your T most love you because I think you are so funny, heck I can't resist you! LOL :)
Posted by allisonross on November 12, 2005, at 23:10:38
In reply to Re: My T says...(Mine sez same!!) » allisonross, posted by happyflower on November 12, 2005, at 16:48:47
> Your T most love you because I think you are so funny, heck I can't resist you! LOL :)
And I...can't resist YOU, LOL, LOL
My t asked me if I knew anybody like me (well, now I do, LOL), and I said: "no."
He said "neither do I."
Actually, he has told me more than once "I love you," but I know if I took that further, he might say "I love you like all of my clients." He told me once, a long time ago, that he "falls in love with all of his clients." I understand his meaning, but I believe he loves me---man to woman.
He sees me on a Sunday night at 8 O'clock, gee whiz. GIves me 2 hours (yah, I know those are all warning signs, LOL)
Hugs, Ally (so, enough about ME,what do YOU think about ME?! Grins!
Posted by muffled on November 12, 2005, at 23:15:50
In reply to Re: My T says...(Mine sez same!!), posted by allisonross on November 12, 2005, at 23:10:38
Wild thing, you make his heart sing, you make everything WILD!!!!!!
Ha. You lotsa fun. Nice to have you around.
You just straight up happy or you hiding something with all that funniness??
Muffled.
Posted by allisonross on November 12, 2005, at 23:57:43
In reply to Re: My T says...(Mine sez same!!), posted by allisonross on November 12, 2005, at 23:10:38
Posted by fallsfall on November 13, 2005, at 9:22:11
In reply to My T says..., posted by happyflower on November 12, 2005, at 16:20:31
You have a good therapist. I'm glad you can talk to him about this. Good for you!!!
Posted by allisonross on November 13, 2005, at 12:07:32
In reply to Wild thing. » allisonross, posted by muffled on November 12, 2005, at 23:15:50
> Hey, muffled. You just made my day. My t calls me the "wild child" LOL, LOL
If I wrote all the things I've done to him, you'd be on the floor. I'll give ya 2 examples (I scare myself). Hold on!
I always tease him about not being able to kiss good, cause I had a dream, and it was terrible. I put that seed in his head, and he keeps bringing it up, LOL....I know he wants so to prove he is a good kisser, but well, yu know!
Last year I dressed up in a policewoman's costume, told him to close his eyes, and handcuffed him. I said, "you are under arrest for being a bad kisser!" I think he is still in shock, LOL!
This halloween I dressed up in a suit, as Marian the Librarian and took off my jacket to reveal a bustier (not real revealing), took off my glasses, (was holding books), and gave him one that said (I made the cover):
The Beginner's GUide to Kissing: A Beginner's Manual, then I sat down, crossed my legs, and said with a wink: "Anything else you wanna.....check out?"
Wild thing, you make his heart sing, you make everything WILD!!!!!!
> Ha. You lotsa fun. Nice to have you around.Thankyou, sweetie: You make MY heart zing!
> You just straight up happy or you hiding something with all that funniness??
Well, I am pretty happy The only thing I try to hide is that I am crazy! LOL! People are always calling me: "bad, crazy, etc., etc..
I figure if I ain't had a nervous breakdown, after a childhood of abuse, 31 years of abusive marriage and (Spiritual) abuse by a church, I just don't have time!! LOL
My t asked me how I am so "normal" and I said, "my faith, wicked wit and twisted sense of humor have gotten me thru everything"
Now I just have to find a way to go on the road with this stuff, LOL
If ya wanna read my sordid little story, I was published in a psych. journal on-line (I always have to tell people, "no, it isn't a study on ME, LOL!" www.psychiatricjournal.com entitled: The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual Abuse
THe website (mine) that happened 'cause my church voted me out of a 31 year membership, with my name up on a big screen, followed by the words: CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD...I stood up and fought the system for 18 months: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com
I've always been able to make something positive come out of the ashes.
This is probably more info. than you want, but I think my personality is because of genetics: Captain Sam was 80 years old in 1776; he fought the British singlehandedly.
They beat him, stabbed him, bayoneted him 16 times, shot off half his face, and left him for dead.
Not only did he survive, but he lived to be 96 years old! Ahhhh, he made Rambo look like a sissy. He is my hero!
Thank you for giving me a smile. It's only been 5 months since the divorce, and I seem to be doing great (my t says I am "thriving"), or maybe I am delusional! LOL
Hugs and Love and grins, Ally (veteran AND wild-child)....I tell my t I have an evil twin; her name is Francesca, and she does all the crazy things, LOL Wonder if he buys that?!
> Muffled.
>
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 15, 2005, at 0:49:28
In reply to Re: Wild thing.(Present and Accounted for!) » muffled, posted by allisonross on November 13, 2005, at 12:07:32
> THe website (mine) that happened 'cause my church voted me out of a 31 year membership...
Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups regarding being voted out by a church to Psycho-Babble Social. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051029/msgs/577004.html
Thanks,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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