Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 323332

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Re: Redirect: Another good song (off topic) Dr. Bob

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 3, 2004, at 11:23:58

In reply to Redirect: Another good song (off topic), posted by Dr. Bob on April 3, 2004, at 8:54:46

But Dr Bob it IS A SONG I use when I think of my T that was the point..its not off topic but I hoooked it to the off topic post..very erotic T song :) I may be loopy but I was on topic and its VERY much a pyschology post..on my T obession/love lust...:D

 

Re: Redirect: Another good song (off topic) Dr. Bob

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 3, 2004, at 11:32:39

In reply to Redirect: Another good song (off topic), posted by Dr. Bob on April 3, 2004, at 8:54:46

I am going to repost it so you can reread it...YOU CAN ALWAYS RETAKE IT DOWN BUT ITS ON ISSUE...not to vex you honestly, but if you note I say here are the words to the song ...and make a comment on how ifs *for my T MMMMMM EROTIC* or whatever..it really is on topic...that is I said for my T so T erotic then posted the song..tis the song I had to order as an import...cause it sizzles...lol hope ya don't wanna smack me by now but..its one of my MANY T songs

>>quoteing myself>>
> Spoc :) I cut and pasted the names of the groups I NEVER heard of in my whole life..your last paragraph...HAVE, YOU heard of the group Madison Avenue??? I love a song they have I had to ORDER it cause its considered an import..but a somng named IT'S ALLRIGHT...very erotic.....cool vocals and instrumental is cool. A MUST GET...I LOVE ALL music from classical to rap and in between..many of your songs and groups are mine...Soundarden...etc....and I like some country and Billy Holiday..the blues....I am a music FREAK..I have over 400 CD's and many other forms of music...cassettes, lps you name it/....Right now, as I type I have Nirvana in the CD player.....kicks A ..I WILL buy those CD when we got our income tax return we file tomorrrow and I hope HR BLOCK gives us the loan..WORDS TO ITS ALRIGHT BELOW....FOR MY T....MMMMMM .,...SOOOOO T EROTIC
>
> (( everything, gonna be alright))
> Ooh, well
>
> BRIDGE:
> It's alright, if you want me
> And It's alright, if you wanna touch me
> It's alright, if you wanna lay me down
> Well, It's alright, if you wanna do me
>
> CHORUS:
> It's alright, It's alright, It's alright
> well,It's alright, It's alright, It's alright...
> yeah yeah yeah yeah hey
>
> ....ooh
>
> Verse 1:
> Do you have a specialty?
> Something a little cruel you'd like to do to me
> I don't even know your name
> And I'll probably never see you again
>
> SAX BREAK
>
> BRIDGE
>
> CHORUS
>
> SAX BREAK
>
> Verse 2:
> Tell me anything you like, oh
> Cause tonight
> Is the night
> Leave your morals on the shelf
> Would you like to watch me do myself?
>
> CHORUS
>
> ...sss, oh....
>
> BREAK
>
> BRIDGE
>
> CHORUS
>


 

Re: Redirect: Another good song (topic? topic) Dr. Bob

Posted by spoc on April 3, 2004, at 12:13:27

In reply to Redirect: Another good song (off topic), posted by Dr. Bob on April 3, 2004, at 8:54:46

> Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like posts regarding off-topic songs to be redirected to Psycho-Social-Babble. Here's a link:
> > http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040331/msgs/332036.html
> > Thanks,
> > Bob
---------
> I am going to repost it so you can reread it...YOU CAN ALWAYS RETAKE IT DOWN BUT ITS ON ISSUE...not to vex you honestly, but if you note I say here are the words to the song ...and make a comment on how ifs *for my T MMMMMM EROTIC* or whatever..it really is on topic...that is I said for my T so T erotic then posted the song..tis the song I had to order as an import...cause it sizzles...lol hope ya don't wanna smack me by now but..its one of my MANY T songs
----------
<<<<<<<I believe that the song is on-topic to Fallen, as well as others she mentions, even if she doesn't always state the tie-in in each post. My logic on that is (and a big part of my job is putting 2 + 2 together) that while I haven't read all her posts by any means, I have never heard her gushing about men in general, love in general, or eroticism in general. It has all been about her T, and I am sure that's who she truly is thinking of whenever she refers to any kind of longing.

I am probably the one who needs to watch whether I am on-topic in this thread. I was getting into a general musical discussion theme, so I will watch that. I haven't read all of the posts on this thread either, but from what I have seen I do think Fallen always meant to be on-topic, although I may have sidetracked her for a couple of sentences here and there! : )

 

Re: YOU ROCK...SPOC/ T song kinda edited lol Fallen4myT

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 3, 2004, at 18:46:49

In reply to YOU ROCK...SPOC spoc, posted by Fallen4myT on April 1, 2004, at 22:09:43

This song and Favorite by her ..where she sings he is like her favorite pair of underwear..<BG>..ARE TWO OF MY FAVORITE SONGS TO THINK ON T....MY T...OTHERS MAY LIKE HER SONGS ..THEY BE
T-A-LICIOUS HAHAHAHAHA....I have edited it to be ummm civil and not freak anyone out :) Somedays I will listen to these songs for hours and just have mega fantasies on MY T ..if he only knew lol


H.W.C. BY LIZ PHAIR

Give it to me, don't give it away
Don't think about what the others say
My skins getting clear, my hairs so bright
All you do is **** me every day and night

You're my secret beauty routine
Na, na, na, na, what my body has seen
I am lookin' good and I'm feeling nice
Baby you're the best magazine advice

Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***

I'm gonna pull you back down between the sheets
Everything is fresher when the day is sweet
In the morning light when you're already on the phone

Face it, one of these days
Without you I'm just another Dorian Gray
It's the fountain of youth
It's the meaning of life
So hot, so sweet, so wet my appetite

Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***

Face it, one of these days
Without you I'm just another Dorian Gray
It's the fountain of youth
It's the meaning of life
Baby you're the best magazine advice

Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***
Gimme your hot white ***
Your hot white ***

 

Unredirect: OK, sorry (nm) Fallen4myT

Posted by Dr. Bob on April 4, 2004, at 19:32:16

In reply to Re: Redirect: Another good song (off topic) Dr. Bob, posted by Fallen4myT on April 3, 2004, at 11:23:58

 

No big deal Doc :-) tis cool (nm)

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 4, 2004, at 19:47:47

In reply to Unredirect: OK, sorry (nm) Fallen4myT, posted by Dr. Bob on April 4, 2004, at 19:32:16

 

Re: Another good song/ and funny in a way

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 4, 2004, at 21:19:36

In reply to Re: Another good song Fallen4myT, posted by spoc on April 1, 2004, at 7:40:21

I like MOST of it for my T feelings but not all some is ummm.....well I will let YOU draw your own conclusions :)


Obsession
by Animotion

Album : Obession-Best Of Animotion
Submitted by : Larcen Tyler
Corrected by :
Rated : 9.6 (26 votes)


You are an obsession
I cannot sleep
I am a possession
Unopened at your feet
There is no balance
No equality
Be still
I will not accept defeat

I will have you
Yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly
A wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you

You are an obsession
You're my obsession
Who do you want me to be
To make you sleep with me
You are an obsession
You're my obsession
Who do you want me to be
To make you sleep with me

I feed you I drink you
My day and my night
I need you I need you
By sun or candlelight
You protest you want to leave
Stay there's no alternative

Your face appears again
I see the beauty there
But I see danger
Stranger beware
A circumstance in your naked dream
Your affection is not what it seems

You are an obsession
You're my obsession
Who do you want me to be
To make you sleep with me
You are an obsession
You're my obsession
Who do you want me to be
To make you sleep with me

My fantasy has turned to madness
All my goodness has turned to badness
My need to posess you has consumed my soul
My life is trembling I have no control

I will have you
Yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly
A wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you

You are an obsession
You're my obsession
Who do you want me to be
To make you sleep with me
You are an obsession
You're my obsession
Who do you want me to be
To make you sleep with me
(repeat and fade)


 

Re: Another good song

Posted by underthecs on April 24, 2004, at 21:56:55

In reply to Re: Another good song Fallen4myT, posted by spoc on April 1, 2004, at 7:40:21

Yeah, I know this is REALLY late, but I just wanted to add this song by Hoobastank. What does Hoobastank mean, I wonder? Anyway, this comes from a person who has been kinda mean to their T:

The Reason


I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you


 

Re: Another good song underthecs

Posted by fallsfall on April 25, 2004, at 10:13:56

In reply to Re: Another good song, posted by underthecs on April 24, 2004, at 21:56:55

Nice song!

I think that they are saying that he has hurt someone, and she is leaving. But that he really didn't want to hurt her, and has decided that she is important enough for him to reconsider things that he always thought were true about himself. She's not coming back, but he now realizes that he never wants to do that to anyone again. So he has decided to change something in his personality - in the way he *is*, the way he has always seen himself, something that he always believed to be true. He will change because she has shown him that the way that he was, led to pain (for both of them), and he doesn't want to cause that pain again. So she has taught him a valuable lesson, and he is growing as a result.

I think the song talks about how we do have the power and ability to change who we are if we decide that we don't like who we have become. That we can choose to be different, and not repeat the things we have done in the past. It is also a sad reminder that often we don't realize that we need to change ourselves until we have hurt someone who is important to us. But even if they were hurt badly enough to leave, we still can, and should, change ourselves for *our* future and the future of others we will know.

Analyzing songs is not something that I do very often, and this is the first time that seeing lyrics was enough to motivate me to find a way to hear the song. I like the message a lot.

Thanks for introducing me to this song!

 

Re: Another good song fallsfall

Posted by underthecs on April 25, 2004, at 16:04:30

In reply to Re: Another good song underthecs, posted by fallsfall on April 25, 2004, at 10:13:56

Thanks for your post! It made me smile to see someone (especially you) had responded.

Rereading my post, I think I made it sound like the person writing it was writing about being mean to their therapist... what I meant was that I am often that way to mine, so this song really spoke to me.

Your interpretation is right in line with mine. Thanks for posting that!

 

did i say something wrong? (nm)

Posted by underthecs on April 26, 2004, at 0:10:04

In reply to Re: Another good song fallsfall, posted by underthecs on April 25, 2004, at 16:04:30

 

Re: did i say something wrong? underthecs

Posted by lonelygirl on April 26, 2004, at 1:12:10

In reply to did i say something wrong? (nm), posted by underthecs on April 26, 2004, at 0:10:04

No... why would you think you said something wrong?

I'm sorry about the chat room. We didn't mean to ignore you. We just got sidetracked on something. I hope you will come back again, and jump right in the conversation (don't be shy!).

 

SORRY SOME SEEM TO BE IGNORING YOU :-( (nm)

Posted by Fallen4MyT on April 26, 2004, at 15:31:49

In reply to did i say something wrong? (nm), posted by underthecs on April 26, 2004, at 0:10:04

 

More therapy/termination songs

Posted by lonelygirl on May 20, 2004, at 18:26:45

I know several people already posted their songs about therapy/their T's on this thread:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040321/msgs/328055.html

...But I thought I'd reopen the subject. Another song that makes me think of my (now "former") psychologist is "There You'll Be" by Faith Hill (from the Pearl Harbor soundtrack) - lyrics below. Of course, lately, pretty much every song has made me think of him! Most of them are love/breakup songs, but you know, I love him, so they fit! I might make myself a whole mix CD of these songs. I think this one is particularly fitting, though.

Anybody want to add to the list?


There You'll Be
by Faith Hill
(Click below to listen/watch the video -- click the link that says "There You'll Be" under "VIDEO")
http://search.launch.yahoo.com/search/lsearch/video?p=there+you%27ll+be+faith+hill

When I think back on these times,
And the dreams we left behind,
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get
To have you in my life

When I look back on these days,
I look and see your face,
You were right there for me

Chorus:
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you,
For all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me,
And everywhere I am there you'll be,
and everywhere I am there you'll be

Well you showed me how it feels,
To feel the sky within my reach,
And I always will remember all
The strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through,
Ohh I owe so much to you,
You were right there for me

(Chorus)

'Cause I always saw you in my light, my strength,
And I want to thank you now for all the ways
You were right there for me, you were right there for me,
Always

(Chorus)

 

Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?

Posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 6:26:15

In reply to Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by KindGirl on March 11, 2004, at 18:06:26

Hi. New poster here. I am toying the idea of telling my therapist I love her and was looking on the web for "therapist 'i love you'" which is how I ended up here.

I don't have any romantic feelings for my therapist (if she was a he I'd offer to have his children by now, which is why I chose a female therapist).

I've been going to therapy since April. I had all my feelings repressed. I've gone to other therapists before - the last one would pick her nails and yawn during therapy. I thank G-D I've found this one. This one is just brilliant. She slowly gained my trust and walked at my own pace. Instead of me just doing what she wanted, she allowed me to do things I wanted also. For example, instead of talking I would bring in writings (3-8 pages) and she would read it. When I brought it to other therapists they would put it aside and tell me to just talk about it. This one read it during therapy then read it on her own time also and took notes.

So, she finally got me to READ ALOUD something I wrote this last session and it's like the floodgates are open. I can't wait to go back. I feel like I have so much to say now.

One of the things I want to say is that I love her. Something like "I wanted to say I love you. Not in a romantic way, not in a sexual way, it's pure unadulterated love from one human being to another." I've NEVER told anyone, not even my parents, that I love them (without them telling me first, like a "I love you" "I love you too" and it's usually mumbled and it's only been about 10 times in my life). This is the first I would be initiating the exchange, and I can't think of a better person to do it with (I love my parents too and hope to work out to the point that I tell THEM that I love them but I'm not at that point yet).


So, what are your thoughts? It's something I feel that I should do. Could it backfire? I also was planning on flat-out asking her if she thinks hugs initiated by clients towards therapists are inappropriate and if she no, plan on hugging her after every session. We've hugged 3-4 times before but she always initiated it and it was ackward because I suck at hugging :p

Soooo..... what are your thoughts?

 

Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever? NVDeb

Posted by DissociativeJane on July 10, 2004, at 8:27:16

In reply to Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 6:26:15

In April I had a major surgery. I saw my therapist the day before my surgery. As I was walking out the door from my session and I looked at her and said, "If I die and you don't see me again, please know I have grown to love you". She looked at me and said, "Thank you, that really makes me feel good".
I think it's very ok to share your feelings with your therapist if you are able.
Jane

> Hi. New poster here. I am toying the idea of telling my therapist I love her and was looking on the web for "therapist 'i love you'" which is how I ended up here.
>
> I don't have any romantic feelings for my therapist (if she was a he I'd offer to have his children by now, which is why I chose a female therapist).
>
> I've been going to therapy since April. I had all my feelings repressed. I've gone to other therapists before - the last one would pick her nails and yawn during therapy. I thank G-D I've found this one. This one is just brilliant. She slowly gained my trust and walked at my own pace. Instead of me just doing what she wanted, she allowed me to do things I wanted also. For example, instead of talking I would bring in writings (3-8 pages) and she would read it. When I brought it to other therapists they would put it aside and tell me to just talk about it. This one read it during therapy then read it on her own time also and took notes.
>
> So, she finally got me to READ ALOUD something I wrote this last session and it's like the floodgates are open. I can't wait to go back. I feel like I have so much to say now.
>
> One of the things I want to say is that I love her. Something like "I wanted to say I love you. Not in a romantic way, not in a sexual way, it's pure unadulterated love from one human being to another." I've NEVER told anyone, not even my parents, that I love them (without them telling me first, like a "I love you" "I love you too" and it's usually mumbled and it's only been about 10 times in my life). This is the first I would be initiating the exchange, and I can't think of a better person to do it with (I love my parents too and hope to work out to the point that I tell THEM that I love them but I'm not at that point yet).
>
>
> So, what are your thoughts? It's something I feel that I should do. Could it backfire? I also was planning on flat-out asking her if she thinks hugs initiated by clients towards therapists are inappropriate and if she no, plan on hugging her after every session. We've hugged 3-4 times before but she always initiated it and it was ackward because I suck at hugging :p
>
> Soooo..... what are your thoughts?

 

Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?

Posted by lucy stone on July 10, 2004, at 9:08:08

In reply to Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 6:26:15

I have told my therapist that I love him several times. I do love him, but not in the way I love any other person. I tell him that I love him in the way patients love their therapists and I know that he understands what I mean. My T, OTOH, has never said "I love you" in return. He refers to his feelings for me as "warm feelings" and also never uses the love word to describe what I feel for him. Again it's "warm feelings". Before you tell your T that you love her, you might ask yourself what you expect her to say in return. If you want her to say she loves you back you might be dissapointed if she uses another word. Or, she might say that she also loves you. What would that mean to you? In an ideal therapy world you could discuss your expectations with her, but I think that is hard to do. I have hugged my T a few times but I always initiate it. I few times I have felt that he was glad that I did so, that he wanted to hug me but that his boundaries prevented the initiation. I think it is different in cases like mine when the patient and T are of different sexes. I think boundaries are stricter against T initiated physical contact, some Ts allow no contact at all. I think that since your T initiated hugs with you she is comfortable hugging patients and would welcome hugs you initiate. That's just a guess, though. Good luck on whatever you do, and enojoy the "warm feelings" you have for her.

Lucy

 

Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever? NVDeb

Posted by Pfinstegg on July 10, 2004, at 9:44:54

In reply to Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 6:26:15

It sounds as though your therapy is becoming a very deep and meaningful experience to you- that's wonderful! As to telling your T. tht you love her, I'd say, if you feel it, say it. I have told my T. that i love him a number of times. He doesn't say that back to me, but says things like, "I'm glad you're able to feel that, and tell me", or " it feels like you're feeling really safe and securely attached right now". He's reflecting on why I'm feeling that way at a particular time; I don't think I want or expect him to say that he also loves me; I just want to have the feeling that he is glad to have *all* of me in there working with him.

I go to an analyst, and hugs are not in his repertoire- just handshakes before breaks. However, there are people on this board who do hug their therapists. If you look back in the Psychobabble archives, you'll find what a range of experiences people have had. You'll be able to find, through your own experience, what works best for you.

 

Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever? NVDeb

Posted by Dinah on July 10, 2004, at 10:21:05

In reply to Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 6:26:15

I've told my therapist I love him a few times, being careful to explain context. He always tells me that he's touched or something, that he understood that I didn't mean *love* love, and he once told me that while he couldn't say he loved me because of boundaries, he could say that he cared deeply about me, and that he didn't think that what he meant was all that different from what I meant. It's now a part of the background context of our relationship.

She may or may not react the way you'd like her to, so it's always a risk to tell her that. But telling anyone you love them is a risk. And a life without risks is a life without a lot of rewards as payoff either.

As far as hugging, my therapist has always told me that I should ask for *whatever* I want in therapy. I might or might not get it, we would discuss it in either case, but that if I didn't ask I definitely wouldn't get it. I don't really want hugs from my therapist, but when I'm feeling really unsettled I ask him for a handshake. What I've always been struck by is that his actual touch isn't really as satisfying as his "emotional holding", but then my therapist is really particularly good at emotional holding.

BTW, kudos to your therapist for being flexible. In reading what you brought her for a long time before asking you to read to her, she gained your trust. Sounds like you have a good one there. :)

 

Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?

Posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 12:31:25

In reply to Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 6:26:15

Wow, so many responses! I didn't think people would come back to this thread... it seems like an active board.

I went to the chat sponsored by past About.com hosts, and the response was very negative. That it was entirely inappropriate, that she might feel I crossed a line and asked me to stop seeing her and recommend another therapist, that she was a therapist and not a friend and "love" is not a word for professional settings, that she is there just because it's a job. No one would recommend telling her I love her.

What do you respond to that?
Now I'm all confused :(
BTW... I have surgery coming up on the 21st... and I was going to give her something of mine to hold until I came back (a little statue of someone doing Karate with my favorite saying engraved on it "Veni, Vidi, Velcro, I came, I saw, I stuck around")... I'm not scared of death because I don't think I'll die but I'm scared of falling into a coma, so I was going to tell her that I wanted an anchor or a marker so that when it was time to come back from the nether-netherworld I could find my way back.

What do you think of that? (I'm 26 years old and this will be my first surgery... it's nothing major, it's going through the ear canal, cutting out a bone, and putting a plastic one in its place... I think that the older you are when you your first surgery the worst it is).


While I'm at it I have another question: I left her a message (I forgot to bring this up during out weekly session) that I had a Karate testing next week (I'm a black belt) and invited her over... I let her know that I may not talk to her during the actual testing because my family might be there and I'm not ready to let them know that I go to therapy (we belong to the same gym and she has said that if we see each other it's up to me if I talk to her, that she would follow my lead), but that I would definitely talk to her during out next session. I left her the message the day before yesterday and still no reply, which gives me a sick feeling in my stomach since she usually answers voicemail within a day. Think I crossed the line with that one?

Whatever I do, I want to ask her what she would do if I do something that crosses the line as a patient (I'm not about to start stalking her or even ask her out to lunch... we belong to the same gym and I avoid the one she goes to on purpose... I don't want to encroach on her personal life). Now the people at the chat room got me all nervous about her feeling cornered and asking me to go to another therapist. It's hard when you finally make an emotional connection with someone after not really having any emotional connections most of your life. How do you act? What is too much?

Thanks for listening :)

 

Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever? NVDeb

Posted by Dinah on July 10, 2004, at 13:35:46

In reply to Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 12:31:25

Perhaps they all have short term very CBT oriented therapists? I can't imagine a therapist terminating a client for expressing loving feelings toward them. I don't think I'd want that therapist for my own! Loving feelings towards therapists are very common. As are sexual feelings and romantic feelings. I recommend the book "In Session" which discusses the feelings clients get for their therapists.

I know that there are therapists who have terminated clients who have admitted to falling "in love" with them or who have expressed sexual feelings towards them, but that is by no means all, or even a majority of therapists. And again, I think those therapists probably need some continuing education or supervision, as long as the client is respectful of their boundaries. In fact, I highly recommend a video Penny found if a therapist responds negatively to that sort of revelation:

http://www.apa.org/videos/4310570.html?CFID=2493388&CFTOKEN=89863392

However, as much as we might like our therapists to be part of our outside lives, therapeutic boundaries usually limit contact to the office. (Actually, I don't *want* my therapist in my outside life, but that's me.) So don't be distressed if she doesn't accept your invitation. She most likely won't. It's nothing personal, that's just standard procedure.

 

Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?

Posted by antigua on July 10, 2004, at 14:49:33

In reply to Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 6:26:15

Yes, I tell my T I love her and she answers the same back. She accepts, but more often initates hugs. I am very comfortable w/her. I know she is my T but we have a lot of overlap in our lives (same kid's school for several years--I actually told her about it and she enrolled her child). At first it was awkward to run into her but now it's just second nature.

As to inviting her to an event. I invited my T to one of my son's performances and she came, but that may be because she was familiar w/the school. So don't be surprised if she refuses because of her boundaries.

It's best to speak your mind; you'll get further along in therapy if you do.
good luck,
antigua

 

Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?

Posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 15:23:52

In reply to Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever? NVDeb, posted by Dinah on July 10, 2004, at 13:35:46

Well, she knows I take Karate and has said that she is amazed that I can do Karate but like to stay home and play Minesweeper the rest of the time. That it takes two very different personalities. So if anything it would be a chance for her to see that side of me. And it's nothing intimate or personal and if my family goes I won't ever get the chance to speak to her.

Do you think she would be offended or think I crossed some boundaries? I guess as the client I'll fumble and it's up to the therapist to say no sometimes, but I get scared thinking she'll terminate the sessions because of it. I won't be offended one bit if she says no, but I just don't want mad or freaked out because of it.

 

Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever? KindGirl

Posted by terrics on July 10, 2004, at 17:34:09

In reply to Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by KindGirl on March 11, 2004, at 18:06:26

My last T. and I said it. She was taking a chance cause she knew I was really IN LOVE with her. I left her 2 and1/2 months ago. She invited me for coffee last week. It was really nice because I did not see her as all powerful. We just chatted. We're going to go out again. I think the love thing could be mutual [but not ethical]. terrics

 

Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever? NVDeb

Posted by daisym on July 10, 2004, at 23:15:49

In reply to Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 15:23:52

I've often said there should be a rule book or source of therapy protocols!

You are right in that your therapist should hold the frame,not you. Many patients push the boundaries as part of their disorder so therapists are trained to deal with stuff. Don't worry. You have a connection to her, she isn't going to just dump you for inviting her somewhere. I think you should talk about your feelings exactly like you did here, tell her you are nervous and what it means to you.

Glad you found us! I hope you hang around.


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