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Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?

Posted by lucy stone on July 10, 2004, at 9:08:08

In reply to Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 6:26:15

I have told my therapist that I love him several times. I do love him, but not in the way I love any other person. I tell him that I love him in the way patients love their therapists and I know that he understands what I mean. My T, OTOH, has never said "I love you" in return. He refers to his feelings for me as "warm feelings" and also never uses the love word to describe what I feel for him. Again it's "warm feelings". Before you tell your T that you love her, you might ask yourself what you expect her to say in return. If you want her to say she loves you back you might be dissapointed if she uses another word. Or, she might say that she also loves you. What would that mean to you? In an ideal therapy world you could discuss your expectations with her, but I think that is hard to do. I have hugged my T a few times but I always initiate it. I few times I have felt that he was glad that I did so, that he wanted to hug me but that his boundaries prevented the initiation. I think it is different in cases like mine when the patient and T are of different sexes. I think boundaries are stricter against T initiated physical contact, some Ts allow no contact at all. I think that since your T initiated hugs with you she is comfortable hugging patients and would welcome hugs you initiate. That's just a guess, though. Good luck on whatever you do, and enojoy the "warm feelings" you have for her.





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