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Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever? NVDeb

Posted by DissociativeJane on July 10, 2004, at 8:27:16

In reply to Re: Do you and your t. say l love you ever?, posted by NVDeb on July 10, 2004, at 6:26:15

In April I had a major surgery. I saw my therapist the day before my surgery. As I was walking out the door from my session and I looked at her and said, "If I die and you don't see me again, please know I have grown to love you". She looked at me and said, "Thank you, that really makes me feel good".
I think it's very ok to share your feelings with your therapist if you are able.
Jane

> Hi. New poster here. I am toying the idea of telling my therapist I love her and was looking on the web for "therapist 'i love you'" which is how I ended up here.
>
> I don't have any romantic feelings for my therapist (if she was a he I'd offer to have his children by now, which is why I chose a female therapist).
>
> I've been going to therapy since April. I had all my feelings repressed. I've gone to other therapists before - the last one would pick her nails and yawn during therapy. I thank G-D I've found this one. This one is just brilliant. She slowly gained my trust and walked at my own pace. Instead of me just doing what she wanted, she allowed me to do things I wanted also. For example, instead of talking I would bring in writings (3-8 pages) and she would read it. When I brought it to other therapists they would put it aside and tell me to just talk about it. This one read it during therapy then read it on her own time also and took notes.
>
> So, she finally got me to READ ALOUD something I wrote this last session and it's like the floodgates are open. I can't wait to go back. I feel like I have so much to say now.
>
> One of the things I want to say is that I love her. Something like "I wanted to say I love you. Not in a romantic way, not in a sexual way, it's pure unadulterated love from one human being to another." I've NEVER told anyone, not even my parents, that I love them (without them telling me first, like a "I love you" "I love you too" and it's usually mumbled and it's only been about 10 times in my life). This is the first I would be initiating the exchange, and I can't think of a better person to do it with (I love my parents too and hope to work out to the point that I tell THEM that I love them but I'm not at that point yet).
>
>
> So, what are your thoughts? It's something I feel that I should do. Could it backfire? I also was planning on flat-out asking her if she thinks hugs initiated by clients towards therapists are inappropriate and if she no, plan on hugging her after every session. We've hugged 3-4 times before but she always initiated it and it was ackward because I suck at hugging :p
>
> Soooo..... what are your thoughts?


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poster:DissociativeJane thread:323332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040703/msgs/364657.html