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Re: helllllllllllllooooooooooooo? alexandra_k

Posted by fleeting flutterby on May 30, 2009, at 12:33:37

In reply to helllllllllllllooooooooooooo?, posted by alexandra_k on May 21, 2009, at 0:34:36

> where did you go?
> do you think about me at all?
> sometimes?
> do you remember me fondly?
> or out of sight out of mind
> just another patient.
> you are patient with me, i know.
> through my freak outs
> non-reponsive at times.
> do you think of me at all?
> i feel like that a lot when you are not around
> but when i see you there you are
> and everything is all right again.
> i imagine you with your baby daughter
> though i guess she's not a baby anymore
> she's growing up now
> i guess she'd be two
> i don't feel like i'm that old yet
> sometimes
> but then she gets more of you than me
> and maybe she feels that way too, sometimes
> i just imagine you cradling her in your arms
> cradling me
> but i'm too old now, too big
> don't know how old kids are when they are at that gangly stage
> trying to be cradled but just too big
> i remember being that way with my father
> scrabbling to get on his knee
> falling through the glass window
> still have the scar
> eyebrows will always be slightly uneven
> but i'm too big now
> too big even to touch
> it wouldn't be safe
> not anymore.
> or maybe it would
> but i think we both are kind of relived
> that we're not going to find out.
> what are you doing?
> are you busy?
> what do you do with yourself anyway?
> i know you go to church.
> i know you spend time with your family.
> i don't really know what you do with your work days even
> do you miss me?
> a little?
> or do you kinda wish you never met me
> never agreed to work with me
> only its too much hassle to dump me now
> i get scared sometimes
> where are you?
> where did you go?????

-----flutterby: Oh wow! this is so heartfelt. and it's as if you are in my life, in my mind! I have such heavy feelings of the T. I used to see.
I think it's wonderfully expressed. Thank you so so much for sharing this-- it's beautiful.





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