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helllllllllllllooooooooooooo?

Posted by alexandra_k on May 21, 2009, at 0:34:36

where did you go?
do you think about me at all?
sometimes?
do you remember me fondly?
or out of sight out of mind
just another patient.

you are patient with me, i know.
through my freak outs
non-reponsive at times.
do you think of me at all?
i feel like that a lot when you are not around
but when i see you there you are
and everything is all right again.

i imagine you with your baby daughter
though i guess she's not a baby anymore
she's growing up now
i guess she'd be two
i don't feel like i'm that old yet
sometimes
but then she gets more of you than me
and maybe she feels that way too, sometimes

i just imagine you cradling her in your arms
cradling me
but i'm too old now, too big
don't know how old kids are when they are at that gangly stage
trying to be cradled but just too big
i remember being that way with my father
scrabbling to get on his knee
falling through the glass window

still have the scar

eyebrows will always be slightly uneven

but i'm too big now
too big even to touch
it wouldn't be safe
not anymore.
or maybe it would
but i think we both are kind of relived
that we're not going to find out.

what are you doing?
are you busy?
what do you do with yourself anyway?
i know you go to church.
i know you spend time with your family.
i don't really know what you do with your work days even
do you miss me?
a little?
or do you kinda wish you never met me
never agreed to work with me
only its too much hassle to dump me now

i get scared sometimes

where are you?

where did you go?????

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:896926
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20090424/msgs/896926.html