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Re: ..

Posted by Estella on August 5, 2006, at 8:29:51

In reply to Re: .., posted by Estella on August 5, 2006, at 2:36:41

or something...
i don't know what is wrong with me
i don't know what is wrong
i remember telling her
'i don't hear voices i lied'
and i believed it
i did
i believed i was a liar
i was so upset
so upset
i read kernberg and i was borderline
i was a liar i must be
an attention seeker
that was wrong with me
borderline
borderline me
and i believed it
i was a liar
i was deluding myself to think otherwise
i was in denial
part of being borderline
denying you are borderline
but she terminated me anyway
and then after a time...
the voices came back

sometimes i think i'm lying about them making up stories they aren't real i don't hear voices there is nothing wrong with me...

but then...

they come back. and i can't cope can't cope can't cope with them. and i can't ignore them i can't distract from them can't keep in time keep in time keep track of the days. and there is nothing right with me.

the names aren't helpful
the dx's aren't helpful
what is in a name?
i don't understand why people feel reassured with a dx
except that... other dx's have better prognoses...
why does it dissolve?
i can't remember the response...
but you get the picture.
i don't see how a dx is an explantion it merely describes then generalises over other members of the population
i know i'm not special in the sense of being radically different from others...
it isn't about that...
it is about...
them taking the generalisations to predict my future they look in the crystal ball of the past and given what we know about confirmation bias and expectations and self fulfilling prophecy and placebo affect IT F*CKING ISN'T FAIR FOR THEM TO DO THAT

*ssholes


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poster:Estella thread:673550
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060722/msgs/673924.html