Posted by Estella on August 5, 2006, at 2:36:41
In reply to Re: .., posted by Estella on August 5, 2006, at 1:27:07
though apparantly i was never classic borderline.
used to attempt
in ways that were unlikely to succeed
i didn't know that they were unlikely to succeed
but after i read linehan i appreciated that
and i appreciated that other methods... weren't things i could bring myself to do
trouble with emotion dysregulation sure
black and white thinking?
i don't think so...
i think i've always been conscious of that because of philosophy
correction
i think philosophy taught me to be conscious of that
but what that can lead to is awareness of a disconnection between thoughts and feelings
and clinicians in the attempt to connect them...
invalidate your thoughts too
i don't know what i'm saying
but after reading about 'typical borderlines'
from psychodynamic theorists like Kernberg
i really didn't think i could live with myself
i'm not like that i'm not
i'm smart
i'm special
i'm high functioning
how much better to be DID
better prognosis
some clinicians are interested...
who am i kidding they were never interested
but at least they stopped making the typical borderline judgements
stopped jumping on anything i said that they were so very quick to interpret as black and white thinking or manipulation or attention seeking or whatever.what is in a name?
a whole heap of prejudice and judgement...
to be fair we got through that...
we did...to the inevitable...
they didn't know how to help me
and they thought that they had to DO something
and they didn't
just needed to accept me
to not judge me
to help me figure things for myself
and often... they can't really do that.
i don't know why.
maybe i think too fast and think myself into holes too fast. i don't know what it is. they say if i just want to talk i should see a councellor. but trouble is... different world views. not many councellors have a similar scientific worldview. it is hard.
i don't know what i need.
but i was...
i am...
doing okay.just keep on keeping on
thank god for babble.
poster:Estella
thread:673550
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060722/msgs/673882.html