Posted by zeugma on November 28, 2005, at 19:13:57
In reply to Re: Mania's a circle, you know, because it is, posted by alexandra_k on November 27, 2005, at 23:55:31
> > i suppose the idea is to inflict the minimum damage possible because one is just not a functioning being.
> > :-(
>
> yes, thats it exactly
> :-(
>
> thats it exactly.
>
> sometimes... i really do hate myself so very much indeed. i think... i'm alright (mostly mostly) when i'm in a relatively good space. but that never lasts long. and i can see... that sometimes i'm only hurting others. but its like i'm just compelled to keep on at times. i struggle immensly with self-control. and reliability. and compassion. and sometimes i despise myself so much.
>
> i got a letter today.
>
> a letter i expressly asked him NOT to write.
> an official rationale for my termination from community mental health.
> i was doing fairly well...
> fairly well...
> but it just opened the wound and i can't stop crying.
> i can't stop crying.
> and now i'm going to have to go to bed.
> and i wish life could just be over.>>I'm so sorry alexandra.
Unfortunately, mental health professionals often promote anything but (guessing the content and author of letter).
i struggle with reliability, compassion, self-control, and just plain 'self-possession.'
but it is possible that we are also too intolerant re ourselves.
now there is nothing better than not tolerating one's own lapses (i.e. having a desire not to be a hypocrite), but it sounds like someone else hurt you, and those who needlessly open wounds are not doing the ethical thing
the intelligent thing
the compassionate thing.
i hope you got to sleep ok
<<alexandra>>
-z
poster:zeugma
thread:575153
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20051022/msgs/583120.html