Posted by alexandra_k on November 27, 2005, at 23:55:31
In reply to Re: Mania's a circle, you know, because it is » alexandra_k, posted by zeugma on November 27, 2005, at 15:04:00
> i suppose the idea is to inflict the minimum damage possible because one is just not a functioning being.
> :-(yes, thats it exactly
:-(thats it exactly.
sometimes... i really do hate myself so very much indeed. i think... i'm alright (mostly mostly) when i'm in a relatively good space. but that never lasts long. and i can see... that sometimes i'm only hurting others. but its like i'm just compelled to keep on at times. i struggle immensly with self-control. and reliability. and compassion. and sometimes i despise myself so much.
i got a letter today.
a letter i expressly asked him NOT to write.
an official rationale for my termination from community mental health.
i was doing fairly well...
fairly well...
but it just opened the wound and i can't stop crying.
i can't stop crying.
and now i'm going to have to go to bed.
and i wish life could just be over.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:575153
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20051022/msgs/582880.html