Posted by Damos on March 1, 2005, at 20:41:26
In reply to Re: Depression is a boulder too... » Damos, posted by alexandra_k on March 1, 2005, at 15:49:21
> Sure you do... Everybody has to join a list and wait... If you join a list now then waiting won't be so hard... You could join and then go and meet someone when they become available and then never go back if you don't like 'em very much. But isn't it worth a shot??? You might find it helpful to be able to talk to someone IRL.
I guess for me the problem with waiting is that it gives me too much time to talk myself out of it. Done it all my life - missed a lot of things because of it, but am slowly getting better. Guess that's why I like my Dr cause he's known me for nearly 20 years so understands pretty much all the dynamics. I'm not gonna tell you how long I sat wondering what IRL was - Doh :-)
> Ah. Commendable attributes IMO :-)
> But sometimes a little help can be helpful...And might I just say that this little black duck greatly values your opinion. Yeh I know what you mean. Just always found it hard to ask (environment issues/influences - mostly father)
> Oh. I understand. I fair chunk of my life was like that too..It's kinda scary when I think that nearly 25 years have gone by like this.
> Ah, but guys don't hug - remember???
And that dear girl is part of the problem. Can only remember 3 man-to-man hugs. Me on Grandfather just before he passed away telling him I loved him and it was okay to go. Me on Michelle's son Jace. Kid has had a pretty tough life and just so needs to know that someone really does love him just the way he is and is always glad to see him. My mate John on me after a very long period of talking trying to convince him that killing himself and his wife was not something he should be thinking about and convincing him to go and get help - which he did.
> Yeah. I am getting a bit better at the social stuff too. Also getting better with drawing a bit of a line and saying 'it isn't worth it to me'. Not feeling bad for the amount of time I want to spend by myself or on the computer or whatever ;-)Good for you ;-) I'm also finally getting better at setting boundaries and "calling" people who violate my trust and/or boundaries.
> Yeah. Just a bit sad to have lost their attachment to me. But happy for them, yeah.Well I hope that someday soon you'll have a place where you can have some puppy pals of your own again :-)
> yeah. Sensitive and friendly. Spaniels are great. And pointers too by the sounds of it. Does she point?
Oh yeah! It's the funniest thing when she's stalking a lizard or bug or something and suddenly busts into a "point". She's so rigid she actually shakes. Sweet baby.
> What are you allergic to??
> How about vegetarian??
> (marks for persistence) ;-)Bunch of stuff, soy included found that out when I was taken of dairy products age 10 or so. Nut are the worst - they've nearly sent me off to Lucifer a couple of times. Not much fun. Too many others to list.
> Oh no, the more thoughts the merrier..I had literally pages of stuff I was thinking about, but it kinda resembled an exploding star with energy and matter going at the speed of light in all directions. But thank for providing the stimulation and desire to to contribute. Have to do a lot of my posting from the Kinkos store under the office at lunch-time as the PC at home is dead and feel guilty about using too much work time.
> Oh, I didn't tutor 'em, just failed 'em ;-)
You wish, cheeky girl!!!!!! ;-)> Just kidding... I just did a bit of marking for the course... Tutoring starts up for me on Monday... Eep. It is fairly daunting when you have a roomful of new people.
You have my sympathy to be sure. You'll be great, I know it.
You would have loved a friend of mine who sadly passed away a while back had a Masters in Bioethics and a couple of others that I just can't remember. We used to have the greatest talks. David Bohm would have described them as dialogues (an unfolding of shared meaning).Oh yeah, after your happier then or now question I decided to do some objective assessment and the results were quite surprising. I am quite definitely happier now (the crowd cheers) :-). I've still a lot to work through and sort out but I smile now (quite a bit according to some of those interviewed), and this smiling is internal, to myself, at and with others. I look ahead of me as I walk down the street instead of at my shoes and actually smile at complete strangers and sometimes even get a smile in return (unimaginable not so long ago). I appear "lighter" to some people, one even remarked that I appear taller. I know I am more authentic for want of a better word and way to describe it. My appearance and behaviour are true to how I'm feeling at the time. And the list goes on. you might have guessed by now that I'm having a good day. :-) When people who have know you for a long time can see the difference it makes it all worthwhile and it's nice to have what you were trying to believe about yourself confirmed. I am more me now that at any time in my life.
Hey WAKE UP!!!!!!! he, he, he
How are things working out with the living arrangements, any progress????
Well, have a great evening and night dear heart. thanks for listening.
((((alexandra_k)))))
poster:Damos
thread:463494
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050211/msgs/465192.html