Posted by katia on October 14, 2003, at 1:41:52
In reply to Re: Antabuse » katia, posted by BarbaraCat on October 13, 2003, at 18:50:17
> > **Is your plan to try to go without Dep and try solo on Lam?
Yes, I think that's the best plan. Why add another drug before seeing how Lamictal does on its own?
Today, I wondered if I'm slightly bordering a touch hypomanic. My therapist suspected it.
I work in a restaurant and really hate it. It's sooooo hard and I get soooo irritable quickly with everyone's demands. It's even harder now that I'm not drinking. Just one glass or two in the shift and end (total of) is enough to take away that awful awful irritability and almost tearful/rageful rude state I get to. btw, we can drink during the shift if a customer shares wine with us; just to let you know I'm not boozing it up behind people's backs. it's wine country cal. I really don't know how I'm going to handle this state i get to. There's nothing else I can do at the moment that pays what that pays for 2-3 nights per week. Even that doesn't cover barely half of my expenses a month. I did look into state support like you said and there's nothing out there for me. I'm just telling myself if I can get thru' this year things will change all the way around.
yes, I love zen like surroundings too. But i'm so disorganized. I get organized and then it all goes to pot again. When I was little, my room was spotless; I had to have everything in order before bed. Then around teenage years, it went to hell. There are pictures of my room and it's literally three feet in clothes and clutter. The floor was no where to be seen. I'm much better these days. I've started to be careful about opening the curtains, making my bed and straighting up as I never used to.
My very strict hard ass aunt in Milan (another story altogether how I went there from Scotland to get away in the midst of a terrible depression and she yelled at me for being a "cry baby". it was awful). But she said that no wonder your mind is disorganized, because your life is. Look at your stuff all over the floor just as it was ten years ago when you visited. nothing has changed! You need to grow up!
As it was, there was barely any of my stuff on the floor and I THOUGHT that I'd been neat. Just when I went to someone I thought I could be safe with in the midst of hell, she kicked me further there. I left crying on the next train to Florence and cried the entire way there much to the amazement of the other passengers.
anyway, another story......I've got too many of them. i should write a book. so many people have told me that, I think I should.
keep in touch.