Posted by BarbaraCat on October 15, 2003, at 18:55:24
In reply to Re: Antabuse » BarbaraCat, posted by katia on October 15, 2003, at 2:00:30
Hi Katia,
What an inspiring post, thank you. After only a few days I'm feeling so much better, like there's a dark lurking presence that wakes up only when alcohol is poured on it. I do know what you mean about how you start feeling better and forget why it was so important to stop. That's where the support comes in, I'm sure.My husband is very supportive and has gotten on my case many times. I know what you mean about announcing it and making it more serious. I gave my husband my word and he will hound and badger me unmercifully if I break it. I don't want to lose face quite that badly with him. The challenge will be this Chrismas season with the parties and all. I'm hoping my growing contentment and peace will outweigh any deprivation. Perhaps I'll even allow myself a trifle bit of smugness at all the drunken cavorting and shloppiness.
My method right now until I can find something else if I need it is Rational Recovery. I'm reading the book, made the Big Plan, made my spiritual vow, and I'm ready to leave substance abuse behind. It's been very interesting learning to recognize the Addictive Voice, that wheedling craving dark spirit who hides in so many dysfunctional areas of my life, and not only alcohol. The one that says 'Oh screw it, let's get those nice shoes, those boring bills can wait another month', or 'Exercise? Yuck, let's just stay here in bed all warm and cozy for a few more hours.' So insidious.
You know, there's much I really appreciate about AA, little slogans and powerlessness stuff aside. It's the spiritual aspect of it, coming to trust entirely in a Higher Power because that's really what I want my life to be about, totally and completely trusting my part in the plan of the Great Organizer Divine. So, back to my spiritual practices I seriously slacked off on - can't even remember why. Meditation is a painful waste of time nursing a hangover. It will be very interesting to see how our meds needs eventually resolve with all this good stuff. Good luck to us! - Barbara
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:268981
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20031014/msgs/269782.html