Posted by alexandra_k on September 27, 2014, at 16:44:37
In reply to Re: tick tock, posted by alexandra_k on September 25, 2014, at 22:25:57
it isn't that i'm not really enjoying evolutionary biology. it is more that i'm really not enjoying evolutionary biology. partly it is that i haven't clicked very well with the people. mostly it is that i just... don't like it particularly.
i think i'll skip the next 4 lectures on that. rejoin when we move to muscle and nerve tissue. I will learn to deal with *ssh*l*s at some point... but not right now. it isn't '*ssh*l*' particularly. it is more... that for some totally bizarre reason they look to educational theory rather than psychology learning theory to justify their teaching practices. and then... that is what they do. cherry pick data to justify their doing whatever it is that they want to do. mostly my problem is that if you make a request of them... instead of being 'sure no problem' - which other lecturers seem to manage okay... instead of that... they decide to throw their weight around / dig in their heels. why? because... they can. that really does seem to be it... i'm sick and tired of little comments about how they should tell us special information since we bothered to turn up (complete disregard for people who may be sick, people who may simply learn differently etc) then told to lighten up (because laughing at other's is hilarious). of obnoxious noises being placed in lectures to 'wake us all up' (offensive to those who are following along and only obnoxious to those who would probably have done better not to come'. babysitting videos... where the audio is illegible. listening to bbc documentaries on how everything is evolving to the epitome of evolution - people. or listening to the Simpsons because Gould got a mention... I've really had enough. I've sent off the relevant emails... And I guess what will happen now will be that people will close ranks.
I need to stay away. Do the readings in my own time. It really will be better next year. They don't give the best science kids the idiot teachers. Fairly sure. We may even get teachers capable of carving out a manageable take home chunk of content for each lecture with clear lecture objectives. The coursebook for next year... Seems to consist in a little more of that. Instead of... This crazy thing they do of assuming that we know the model case (humans) and teaching us deviations for different animals... When the class where people learn about humans is a limited entry course running this semester - so nobody has that information as previously existing.
I have trouble with aspects of my test... We are asked to draw things and seems to me that at various points I did in fact draw the relevant thing... But got no marks for it. No model answers went up. We didn't get the multi-guess portion back. Feeling a lot like they threw them down the stairs... Feeling a lot like tech.
I guess it is. I guess that is what has happened now. As techs have started offering degrees... Universities have started running that calibre of a degree program. Comperable courses. The techs like it too because they can say that what they are teaching is at degree level. Which of course it is. Since the universities have really started to offer scrambled time wasters... Pretty pissy, I am, for sure. Partly it is the time of year. Partly it is feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all, for sure. But then partly it is also about things not being presented particularly coherently or logically (that sh*t takes work - so much more effective to spend ones time hunting down copyright approval to play the Simpsons in class because that joke is totally crucial for the exam). Fed up...
Constant reminders that I have in fact made the right decision to do OY1 next year. Another prepratory year would be counter-productive. Even if I don't do well enough next year... I won't regret not having taken another prepratory year. Pretty sure I need to stay the f*ck away from physiology as my major. I think cell / devo and molecular genetic type courses (more 'hard science') will be okay... But the 'I like to fish' people... Well... I guess I'll stay away from sport science too, because I guess it will only be a lot more of that over there...
Deep breath. Parallel stream... Parallel world... Stuck in the kiddy pool area for Bio like how I was stuck in the kiddy pool area for Chem last semester. With the 'gate keeper' people designed to waste your time / indulge you in wasting their time to keep you the hell away from the people who actually get work done... It is kinda heartbreaking to see the actual kids... Growing up. Some of them feeling about as pissed off about all this as me... Better at sucking it up... Probably mostly because it is through the course of this year... That they have come to see the kiddie pool they found themselves in... And they have developed suitable motivation to get the hell out.
That is probably it.
And that is probably why people who do go on to do well... Think that those who don't do well are lazy and / or stupid. And... Are disparaging about that. Because they remember how those people got in the way and prevented their learning and did the whole crabs in a bucket thing... And so they are so f*ck*ng happy to have distinguished themselves from that group and they really will do everything in their power to keep their place / to keep other people in their place... Because they remember the f*ck*ng horror of being put in the wrong f*ck*ng group.
Stay away. For sure. I don't like where my head is at with this.
One more week. And I don't even have to go.
I suppose I should focus on gratitude. I am grateful that I didn't get a place in the foundations program this year. If I had have got a place... I'm fairly sure I wouldn't have lasted the year in that. I would have wigged out at some point and... And then what? I don't know. Or if somehow miraculously I did manage to make it through that year... I would be in the awful position of wondering whether I needed the year I'm doing now to prepare me better...
The thing is that this year... The preparation thing is... Dubious. It is a dubious relation. Some aspects are extremely relevant. But there is a lot of b*llsh*t. And there is a whole f*ck*ng ton of the 'things most people find easy' to try and make the 'things most people find hard' to be easier. Only... For me... I'm built the other way around. So a lot of the things that are supposed to 'help' are hinderances for me. If people had an ability to listen to what I'm saying things would run differently for me...
- Organic lecturer. Is good. Thinks clearly. I can follow along. It will be hard... But I don't have problems with her teaching or whatever. She did dig in her heels a bit about powerpoints... But she said she will hand them over if I put in a disability request. So... I think I might...
Biology people... F*ck knows. That lecture I went to was great. 3/4 of the way through the class... A place where things tend to get 'itsy bitsy' because the students will be too scrambled to notice - right? 6 steps in chlorine regulation (and then rather a ton of information on cystic fibrosis and he said he didn't expect people to learn the history dates of discovery for various things which suggested he did expect people to learn everything else). but there it was... clear and precise. a managable chunk of content (depending on how seriously you crammed the cystic fibrosis stuff or took your chances a little more with that). anyway... it made me smile. because it seemed fair. and... a managable 'bare minimum' thing... anyway... whatever...
I feel bad for skipping a week of classes because i am a good contientious student. i've only missed 4 classes all year. but... i gotta do what i gotta do. i'm sure there is a bunch of people who... uh... like to fish or something who think he's terrific. i guess it is important to keep those people... the other uni across the bridge offers a whole degree in marine biology... we wouldn't want to not offer a degree comperable to them...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140828/msgs/1071545.html