Posted by ghost on August 5, 2004, at 20:56:50
the theme in my journals (online and on paper) tends to be pretty much the same. i've been writing this stuff for awhile, and it occurs to me tonight that i'm not as "well" as i claim to be. tonight's just an extra bad night, but even the not-so-extra-bad nights are still bad nights. anyhow. here's my most recent entry:
"life is short and love is always overrated."
gotta love rant radio. on the verge of crying. no real reason. stress i guess. everything. building up. please don't let me have another breakdown. i need this job. it's my only shot. just one bullet in the chamber. ready... aim... fire.i feel like i can't bother anyone. i say "i've learned to ask for help" but that's absolute bullsh*t. that's what you say when you're sick of being in the hospital because you're bored out of your mind. not because you're ready to get out. then it becomes easier to say-- lies are always easy when you've rehearsed them.
man i'd give anything for the highs of mania about now. i'm pretty f*ing sick of being depressed.
i'd like to take a pottery class or something like that. maybe i can when i get to k-zoo. keep looking forward so you don' t look back (at the bottle of pills behind me). why is it that the answer to my problems is always a bottle of xanax?
poster:ghost
thread:374511
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040802/msgs/374511.html