Posted by TexasChic on August 2, 2004, at 13:37:19
In reply to Re: Work Problem » TexasChic, posted by partlycloudy on August 2, 2004, at 10:54:10
You're right. I don't know what to do. I feel like my brain is all in a jumble. I can't think straight for all the anxiety and random thoughts racing around my head. I wish I could keep from getting this upset. I just want to be able to remain calm when someone does or says something negative to me. But I get all crazy emotional every time. I thought about suicide this weekend for the first time in a long time. Of course, I would never do it as long as my nephew needs me. He would never make it in this crazy family without an advocate. I felt bad because I was watching him Saturday and while he was playing I started crying. I didn't think he would pay any attention but he almost immediatly said, whats the matter? I said nothing and he said, but why are you crying? I just told him I was okay. Then later in the day he kept asking about my other ex-friend's little boy he's played with a few times, asking when he was going to see him again. That just broke my heart. I told him me and his mommy had an argument and he probably wouldn't be seeing him anymore. There was a time I felt I was the only positive influence in his life. Now I wonder if when he gets older he's going to realize how crazy I was all this time. I sometimes wonder what good I am doing him. But I couldn't bare to not be around for him.
poster:TexasChic
thread:372303
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040802/msgs/373200.html