Posted by TexasChic on July 30, 2004, at 13:52:07
In reply to Re: I'm trying to be assertive, but its so hard!, posted by TexasChic on July 30, 2004, at 11:42:07
Okay, I'm pretty upset now. She wrote back and it was pretty much what I thought all along. I'm just at my wits end. Any advice would be appreciated.
Here's what she wrote back to my email:
alright T, here goes.
i understand why and how this upsets you. so i hope you also understand what i have to say.
T, i honestly don't think it is the difference in our working paces that makes such a difference in the quantity of our individual outputs. For example, on Monday morning when (R) said those pages needed to be done immediately, you produced four pages in something like 2 hours. And that was really great.
(OK, I don't know how to say this part without sounding rude and sh***y, but here goes.) T, i think you spend waaaaay too much time surfing the web. When you are actually working, you are no slower than me. it's ok to waste some time or screw off, but T, I sit beside you all day every day, i can tell when you are working and when you are playing--and you play ALOT. i think that this is one of the main reasons you don't get as much done.I know you think it is unfair that i do more pages, but i don't think it's fair that i should sit around with nothing to do while i wait for you to catch up.
so i will offer you this deal...
I will do only half of the next catalog, if you SEVERLY reduce your internet usage time.
I think we may find that it is not necessary for me to slow down, or even for (R) to spilt up the pages, if you spend more actual time working. This way you get what you want, and i don't have to slow down. We may even find that you are faster than me. who knows?
i hope this hasn't pissed you off too much...
Here's my response:You know, I see how much time you spend on the internet too. I know I check my email and chat sight alot, and I do know that there are times I could be working faster than I do, but I choose to take my time at the beginning. I would still get it done if given the opportunity. Just because your slow time may be after you get the pages done (if you actually only did half) doesn't mean I can't have slow time at the beginning and work faster near the end. I should be able to do it at my own pace without you doing my share of the work. I knew there was something pissing you off, and I knew you weren't telling me, and you waited a very long time to do it. If you had only been honest in the beginning, I wouldn't be as offended as I am now. But think about this, you do most of the book, you do the covers, the folio, the cards, the logos and anything else that comes along. I'm sorry but I lost my motivation long ago. If so little is expected of me, why bother. I'm just sick of it and I don't appreciate you taking it upon yourself to do my share of the work because you feel I'm on the internet too much. Why don't you just let me do my job in the time allotted, and not worry about whether I'm doing it fast enough for you. If you did your half, you would have as much free time as I take at the beginning. But instead you choose to keep doing pages, because you are mad that I'm not jumping on it right away like you are. It *is* a difference of working paces and styles. Its not your job to do my part of the work because you don't approve of how I'm doing it. If I get in trouble, its my own fault. I just don't know how to take this, but I know I've been talking with you about it for quite awhile now. Its really the same thing our problem has been all along. I always know when you're not happy about something, but you would rather stick it to me by doing my part of the work and making me look bad than talk about it with me. I'm sorry, that's all I have to say.
She hasn't read this yet, but she will see it Monday. We were both invited to a party tonight, and neither one of us knew if we were going to go. Before she left (and before I read her response) I asked her to call when she decides, and she said I could call her when I decide. I think she knew I would be upset and when I read this so she didn't want to say whether she was going or not. I'm tempted to stick my printed out response under her door. I just don't know if I could say all that to her face. Say it and make any sense anyway. I get way too nervous. I just don't know what to do.
poster:TexasChic
thread:372303
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040725/msgs/372392.html