Posted by JenStar on July 30, 2004, at 10:32:51
In reply to I'm trying to be assertive, but its so hard!, posted by TexasChic on July 30, 2004, at 9:49:25
hi Texas Chic,
what a frustrating experience for you! It's no fun to feel that you can't trust your co-workers.I don't know this woman, but I've been a manager for years, and here are a few possible reasons for her actions:
1. As you suggested (giving her the benefit of the doubt) - she works fast and just wants to ensure that everything gets done.
2. She enjoys working faster than you do, and is repeatedly ignoring your requests for even work division because she wants to look "better" to the boss. This requires that you look "worse" since there are only 2 of you. Even if she's your friend out of work, she could be very competitive inside work.
She could be doing this for job protection; in the case that only 1 artists is needed, she'll argue it should be her because of her speed and diligence and common practice of doing 1/3 more work than you do.
3. It could also be an internal competition thing - no matter how many artists were on staff, she would want/need to outshine them all. There are some superstars out there who routinely put in crazy hours and tons of effort to do the best job of anyone on staff.
However, the fact that she continues this action after you've asked her to stop, and offered a suggestion on how to equally divide the work, tells me that whatever the reason, she is not interested in helping you look good. She's out for herself alone. She probably wants to look better than you - it's no accident that she does this over and over again. So you need to look out for yourself in a positive way.
Ignore any "Whoops! I just got carried away! This work is so fun, you know! Before I know it, I've just done the entire catalogue! hehehehe! Sorry!" comments from her. These are probably not true (even though your job DOES sound fun.)
My advice would be: Talk to the boss again, honestly, when you have a quiet private uninterrupted time. Make sure you're both sitting and that she has at least 30 minutes for you before she runs to another meeting.
Once again, explain the problem to her, being sure not to whine or act defensive. Be sure not to trash the other woman or say anthing outwardly rude about her.
Tell your boss something like: "(R), whenever "Jane" and I work together on the catalogue, I feel frustrated because I don't get a chance to demonstrate my excellent work. And it's possible that she gets frustrated because our work styles are so different. Can you help US (US! Not ME!) figure out the best way to divide the work so we can EACH do our best work?"
Go on to tell her that you really liked her previous suggestion of dividing up the pages. Remind her that it's been hard to implement, or hasn't been implemented at all. Ask her for help to implement it, now, for the next catalogue. Remind her that this is very important.
Ask her to brainstorm with you on the spot about the right technique to do it. Bring paper and pen (or laptop) and show her a sample template. "(R), I created this sample template that divides up catalogue pages between "Jane" and myself. See, here are columns for each page, a description of each page, and a column showing the owner of each page, and then a done/not done column. And over here is the due date. If we both fill this out every day, you can easily see who has completed their pages by the due date. And it will help me and Jane remember which pages are ours. And because the due date is shown, neither of us will get anxious about doing the other's work - we both know when the pages are due, and can talk to each other about the progress."
Ask for feedback. "Do you like this template? I can easily make something else - give me your feedback on how to improve it. Where should we post it? Should we fill it out online, or use a hard copy? How often would you like to review the template with us? How about a 5-min debriefing once a day or once a week?"
If she likes your template, or comes up with an alternate idea to regulate work betw. Jane and yourself, push her for a start date and roll-out.
"R, This will really help. I'd like to meet with you and Jane today (this week, next week) Tuesday to discuss it and make sure we're all bought in. Can I set up time on your calendar for the 3 of us on Tuesday from 9-10?" Make sure you get a definite time slot for the 3 of you to sit down and discuss the work roll-out method.Thank her, then go back to your desk and send her a quick email detailing what you talked about, what you resolved, and what future actions will be taken.
"R, thanks for meeting with me today regarding catalogue work division. I appreciate your time. I'm glad that we were able to agree on a template and review system to determine how to divide work and keep us both Jane and myself on track.
"I've already begun work on the revised template and it will be ready for our discussion with jane on Tuesday the 23rd at 9 am. As we agreed, I will talk to jane today and give her a heads-up on the new system, so she has a chance to talk to you and ask questions before the tuesday meeting. Attached is a copy of the template that we discussed."
Something like that. Then follow up politely; make sure she is ready for the meeting. Make sure Jane knows what is going on before the meeting happens. When you talk to her, emphasize that you're not trying to be "mean" or "petty" (don't use those words, though) -- be very professional. "Jane, we've both had a hard time sticking to our allotted share of the catalogue. I've been working with R to develop a system that allows both of us to do our exact # of pages. That way, when you're done, you can move on to something else, instead of finishing my work. i'll be able to do my pages at my rate by the due date. We'll both be more efficient this way. Instead of you doing my work while I sit idle, we'll each do our work and you'll get the chance to start a new project."
Or -- if you don't want to go behind Jane's back to set this up -- sit down with HER, not R, to work out the work division system. Bring the same template, get her buy-in, and then both of you set up a meeting with R to discuss it and make sure she will use it.
I think they key here is polite but FIRM insistence on the development of a system of template to ensure that you both get your work done.
If no one goes for this, I suppose you could try to force yourself to work at Jane's pace. is that possible? OR - are there other projects you could develop to make the workplace more productive? If Jane routinely takes over your work, it would be helpful to have backup projects that are yours alone. If you do a super-duper job on those, R will see how valuable you are despite the catalogue snafu.
Well, good luck. Hope I've helped a bit. Pls keep us updated on what happens! I'm rooting for you. :)
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:372303
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040725/msgs/372320.html