Posted by zeugma on January 4, 2004, at 14:41:38
In reply to Personal admissions, posted by Omega Woman on January 4, 2004, at 12:18:02
I would say these attitudes are not exclusive to Scotland. Growing up I was constantly taunted as being 'gay,' even before I knew what the term meant. A lot of violence is directed towards those who are perceived as gay, regardless of actual orientations. I decided early on that since everyone perceived me as gay, I should forget about ever having a normal sex life (since I knew I wasn't gay, but the only people who seemed to take a sexual interest in me were males who thought I shared their orientation). Avoidant personality disorder has also warped my self-perceptions to the point where contemplating a relationship with anyone would make me so violently anxious that it's better for my mental health not to bother. Of course, this warps my self-perceptions farther...
There's a vicious feedback mechanism between feeling like you fail to meet the social/functional criteria for 'male,' and the failures that result from this feeling causing one to either avoid these relationships entirely, or trying and failing because of insecurities resulting from not feeling 'normal.'
A final note: I have been in therapy since early adolescence, and therapists , who share the perceptual biases of the population at large, were convinced that my 'problem' was that I was really gay and simply would not admit it. So they fixated on this 'problem' and completely ignored the 'real' problems, which now, much later in life, I am trying to deal with.
poster:zeugma
thread:296268
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/296395.html