Posted by deirdrehbrt on January 4, 2004, at 14:27:38
In reply to Personal admissions, posted by Omega Woman on January 4, 2004, at 12:18:02
You bring up some points that probably have alot of people wondering about themselves. You also bring to the surface the age-old debate of whether homosexuality is intrinsic or extrinsic. Is it cause or is it nature?
I don't know how much of my make-up is derived from my Scottish background, but the 'men' in my family tended to be stronger, confrontational, and somewhat insensitive.
I am nothing like my brothers. I may have been born male, but I NEVER saw myself as such. I spent most of my time as a child visiting my grandmother, watching TV, playing cribbage, and eating cookies and drinking milk. I spent a great deal of time with the old woman across the street, in her screen-house, or in her music room. I would play guitar and She would play piano. Come to think of it, I knew all of the older women in my neighborhood, and practically none of the men.
In School, I gained the honor of the titles: Gay, Fag, She-male, Queer, Sissy, and whatever-else anyone could come up with. I knew the truth: I wasn't gay, I was a girl. I guess that what it comes down to is this: others can place a monicker, but we'll still know the truth. Someone may be told that they like men or women, but they will know in the relationship that something is either right or wrong. There have been plenty of 'softer' men and and 'harder' women who are revered by most:
Joan of Arc,
Isaac Stern,
Margaret Thatcher,
Fred Rogers.
There are many if you look.Perhaps what is needed more than anything else is some support for people who are saddled with a name or title that they don't deserve. Maybe the intolerance will dissipate (though slowly at first) as people can know that they are allowed to be themselves without the spectre of some sort of 'gay patrol' lurking about.
I guess that the only advice I can give is this: Know who you are, and be it. Sometimes it will hurt, sometimes you want to scream, sometimes you want to pull your hair out and cry, but in the end, you are happiest when you know yourself and honor that truth.
It wasn't long ago in the US that people were placed in mental hospitals for being transgendered or gay. Fortunately that has mostly changed. Some parents still place their suspected gay children in special programs to 'cure' them, but fortunately that is the exception these days.
My family still tries to ignore who I really am, and opt for what they 'know'. I don't know how long this will continue, or if it will ever end, but I've decided that it doesn't matter anymore. I've been hurt enough, and I'm not going to let them rule my life.
I wish you good fortune and a pleasant future.
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:296268
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/296390.html