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Re: Dumped and Depressed » Phil

Posted by shrimp on October 20, 2003, at 22:58:30

In reply to Re: Dumped and Depressed » KB, posted by Phil on May 28, 2002, at 7:11:33

I just went through a horrible situation. My boyfriend of 5 years, who i have been friends with since i was 20, had been having horrible problems because of my depression. Then finally, my depression cleared, and we were finally happy, he was talking about marriage, telling me how much he loved me. I was on vacation, and he called me and told me that since i was gone, he was happier without me in his life. I was so shocked, i got shingles. Then I found out he was dating while i was gone, and then wound up sleeping with this woman and seeing her consistently. Since then i have been sick, every bodily function is wrong and painful. And i have the additional anxiety of knowing what rejection can do to atypicals. Last year he cheated, and i sank into a suicidal depression for 8 mos. he told me about it, and then ignored me, wouldn't accept my phone calls or emails. for 8 months. I went down to 94 lbs., and my hair started falling out. Now, i am afraid that i am going back in, and i don't know how to prevent it. I have a severe atypical depression, and i am on nardil. my pdoc told me not to increase it yet, but i can feel it returning, the spaciness, lack of pleasure etc. I thought we would have a family, and i just turned 31, i can't imagine someone else ever loving me again. So what do i do, should i just up the nardil on my own? any advice, he was my whole world, i don't have anyone else, and i am moving to nyc at all. i just have this piercing lonliness that physically hurts.

> He did you a favor by at least telling you. Believe me, he could have married you and screwed around for 20 years..it happens. It's hard right now but who would want a jerk like that? You think he'll stay monogamous, hehehe. No f'ing way.
> Never put the 2 before the 1. Being suicidal over a relationship tells me one thing: it wasn't ever healthy to begin with.
> I've been reading a book, Don't Call It Love, about sexual addiction. Probably not your case but it is a great book for anyone.
> Their is a 'pool' of people in this world that attract each other and both are very unhealthy. I am attracted, unconsciously, to women that screw around, lie. The worse they treat me, it seems the more I want them. It is a sick dance.
> Grieve it, get over it, don't spend too much time alone, and 'most of all'..thank God you aren't the other woman.
> He disrespected you and treated you like dirt. Once the hurt wears off, you'll realize the son of a b*tch was never in your league.
>
> I'm almost 49, single all my life, and I am qualified to speak about this.
> Let him go. Don't call him, no matter what! If he calls for any reason, say you have plans and can't talk. It's hard to do, I know, but don't put another person in control of your life.
> Work on yourself and you will find someone who loves and respects you for who you are. If they don't, it won't effect you because you take care of yourself and know you're worth more than that.
> When you're in the thick of it, it's hard to hear these words, and you deserve to grieve. But keep it in perspective and remember..he cheated on you.
> He will continue to cheat on her. If you ignore him(smart), he'll try to see you for 'fun' while he's with this woman. At least, that's the common modus operandi(sp).
> KB, believe it or not, you are THE good one AND the lucky one, f*ck him and the horse he rode in on!
>
> GRRRRRR, I hate bottom-feeders,
>
> Phil
>


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poster:shrimp thread:24756
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/271303.html