Posted by yesac on July 13, 2003, at 16:00:03
In reply to Re: to suicide survivors..., posted by noa on July 13, 2003, at 10:36:41
I wonder if actually surviving an attempt is sort of the way to get some real help? I just feel like I'm not getting enough. I mean, not that that in itself would be a "good" reason to make an attempt. Maybe hospitalization without an attempt would work too. Or not. I mean, you're in and out in a few days, and then what? It's back to the same. A few days can't fix anything really. I don't know.
I think it's ironic because even though I have this desire to kill myself (stronger at some times than others) - the idea of being killed like in an accident or something bothers me. It's like, I want to decide. I've sometimes thought... imagine if I got some disease and only had a few months to live. How horrible to think that I wouldn't get the chance to do all of these things in life that I want to do! It would be so sad to face that. But yet, I feel at times willing to take my own life? To take that future away from myself? It's very strange to me.