Posted by giget on July 14, 2003, at 10:55:07
In reply to Re: to suicide survivors... » giget, posted by yesac on July 14, 2003, at 10:29:27
I am still here yes. I don't see it as not going through the pain. Life is full of happiness and pain, but I am not saying I should not be here because I don't want to deal with the pain.
I don't know why I am still here. I am just going with the flow of how everything turned out. There must be something I am supposta go through before I leave. What it is I do not know, have I already accomplished it now, I don't know.
Will I make more attempts? I might, it depends on weather I feel my job is done here or not. But this time I will make sure I will not be a survivor.
To alot of people this may be a strange concept of life, but this is the way I feel. I may live for another 40 years and be so happy and have all the love in the world... But if I would have died that day, I would not be missing that... My life may be pleasure or pain, either way it would not change my feelings.
I look back at my life and look at the good things and bad that have occured since then. The good times were wonderful, the bad were just that bad. I am glad I got to experience them, but I do not need them to have a full life. I was, and still are, in my mind finished with this specific life here.
> But... you are still here. Why is that if you really feel that your life is supposed to be over and you really don't want to go through the pain of it all? Do you think that you will try again? And you said that your life is a lot better now, so do you think that maybe it could even get better?
>
> Just wondering. I'm not trying to be patronizing or anything!
poster:giget
thread:241225
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030713/msgs/241700.html