Posted by maryhelen on May 7, 2003, at 13:17:11
In reply to Magic potion, posted by whiterabbit on May 6, 2003, at 23:43:33
Magic Potion:
This has been an incredible thread. So many have poured their hearts out and shared their experiences to try to help you. Please read and re-read them and try and look into your own situation and begin to make some changes to your life as, at least, an acknowledgement to those who have tried here to give you encouragment and suggestions with their honesty and caring support.
Whiterabbit:
Wow, what a post. I admire you tremendously for your fighting spirit. You have been to hell and back.
I do not understand how you went through what you did and still had to put up with this self-centred, selfish man. I admire that you did it for your son, but how did you ever take it? Your story brings tears to my eyes. What you have had to endure, the most mentally healthy, secure, highly functional person would not have been able to. I do not wonder at all that you 'isolated yourself to unimaginable degrees'. Not even a token Christmas gift...
I also have tried to self medicate the pain with drinking and various pain medications. I have been in and out of psychiatric units and substance abuse programs along with 2 rounds of ECT. I am in better shape than I was, but I still struggle with this depression every day of my life. I am still trying to find that elusive medication that will give me some relief. Off to therapy tommorow night. I am so sick of it all. I have a 29 year old, wonderful daughter and 4 grandchildren. I have not been married since she was 2 years old, and have gone through this illness alone. I can't imagine the difficulty of being married or having a live-in boyfriend while trying to cope. I prefer the isolation. I have my mom and 9 brothers and sisters whom I love, but basically the fight against this demon is ours.
I am so happy for you that you have your wonderful son. What a tribute: handsome and strong, intelligent and funny, witty and (of course) spoiled by his adoring mother. He's a gem and a stepping-stone to the next generation. How old is he? Can you not leave your husband now that your son is launched and pursue your own interests and talents? I can't think of anyone who would deserve it more than you.
I could go on and on, but I have to do a personal budget, which I am procrastinating about, for the tax man, who is after me.
You are someone to be admired, for sure. I have printed your post and I know that I will be reading and re-reading it again and again, as I need so much encouragment right now. (Even though it wasn't intended for me I will gladly be a recipient of it)
Thank you again for sharing.
maryhelen
poster:maryhelen
thread:224324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030506/msgs/224886.html