Posted by nhg on May 6, 2003, at 0:00:55
In reply to The Living Dead, posted by magic potion on May 4, 2003, at 20:05:06
This thread has been interesting to me. I'm in pretty much the same space, except I'm actually on the lexapro. it hasn't tricked me into happiness; I sway between tolerant of life and suicidal. i wish lexapro could "trick" me.
I used to think this depression was somehow the price I had to pay for intelligence. Now I'd rather be stupid and happy than continue to suffer the way I do. Suffering has become a most familiar feeling. I almost don't know how to feel anything else.
> Is there anyone out there who doesn't have the will to live? Do they sell a pill that makes you care about life?
I don't have much will to live either. I have brief moments of will. I mostly go on out of guilt - what my death would do to my family is too shameful to commit. I know they would think they could have prevented it -- and knowing that is what keeps me going -- so I guess they are preventing it in that way.
But I do feel like I too am "rotting away" and waiting for life to be over. Life has not been so bad for me. I've had it pretty easy really. But I'm still miserable. I'm spoiled and miserable. mostly i am deeply and indescribably lonely.
Some days the lexapro works better than others, but it never tricks me. so you might as well take it.
poster:nhg
thread:224324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030426/msgs/224612.html