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Re: feelin' sexually frustrated/gf in therapy » BeardedLady

Posted by bookgurl99 on October 27, 2002, at 20:14:54

In reply to Re: feelin' sexually frustrated/gf in therapy » bookgurl99, posted by BeardedLady on October 25, 2002, at 5:49:30

Hmm, some complex thoughts.

I don't know, I guess maybe because my gf is more of a bottom and I'm more of a top, that part of me is a little insecure about her sexuality. I mean, she says she thinks I'm hot, but since she's really _really_ a bottom, I wonder sometimes. (Don't take this to mean that I'm butch, however.)

I asked her just the other day if she felt that the abuse was related to her sexual orientation, and she said no. She said she was always kinda gay -- even from a young age, her brother was like "you're gay." I believe her on that, because I was never abused and don't see it as related. (In fact, I don't know _any_ lesbians who see being a lesbian as related to abuse, maybe one bi woman though.)

I don't think, though, it's a sexual orientation issue so much as that I need reassurance that she thinks I'm hot. The lesbian bed death thing is a frightning specter. Plus, I'm a really sexual person. Obviously I need to channel the energy elsewhere, but I naturally have a lot of creative power in the sexual arena. (Hey, I'm Puerto Rican; I can't help it.)

Meanwhile, my body has taken over and I'm starting to have really sexual dreams at night. (Friday night I dreamt about doin' it with a quite muscular faggy gay boy.) And I'm planning on picking up some toys and a copy of _On Our Backs._ :D


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