Posted by susan C on December 3, 2001, at 19:09:32
In reply to Jealous, posted by Roo on December 3, 2001, at 12:46:45
I know, I know it isn't the 1800's and you aren't Jane Austin, but I thought you might be amused by this bit of exteranious fluff...
You know about the practice of 'leaving cards'? It is often movies based in this time. Someone gives the butler a card, the butler delivers it to the lady of the house on a silver tray, and she almost always peeks out the upstairs window, and tells the butler to say she 'isn't at home'....?
The book i happen to be reading describes this activity as primarily a female activity... 'although the one obligatory time for a man to send out his own cards was upon his marriage, the receipt of the card signaling that you were respectable enough to be retained as a friend even though the new groom's bachelor days were now over. "when a man marries, it is understood that all former acquanintance ENDS, unless he intimates a desire to renew it, buy sending you his own and his wife's card."'
Even though this behavior was described as a custom in the 1800's, I can't help but relate it to my own feelings and your description, here.
When I committed to a serious relationship, or observed same in previous boyfriend, I stopped having anything to do with him and he with me. I even had a mutual male friend, whom I met at a hotel room while on a business trip, comment that we had to make the meeting short, because, even though we knew we were just friends, his brother was running for elected office and 'it wouldn't look right'.
We live in a society, there is no two ways about it. And many times our you my emotions don't match up with how it is 'expected' to be done.
mouse with a time machine
susan C
poster:susan C
thread:14805
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/14832.html