Posted by rskontos on April 22, 2008, at 8:55:47
In reply to Re: I think I am pretending in T.....(triggerspossible » rskontos, posted by seldomseen on April 22, 2008, at 7:03:42
Seldom, you have good points. The resistance I feel is in part due to the sleepy part and in part due to a widening gaffe not a deepening bond. Partly due to the sleepiness. I can't get past it even with the explanation. We have talked about it once. I should bring it up again. He speaks about transference of bad parent to good parent but for me, how can I feel like he is a good parental figure when he is sleepy during our sessions. I wonder if he is like this with just me. And it doesn't matter if it is our 9:30 session or the 11:30 session. I am tiptoeing around him in therapy modulating my words so that he is involved and that isn't right. And if I am doing that how am I going to transfer my feelings to a good parental figure. It is not going to happen since I am doing what I did in my real family. Keep up the good front which is now what I feel I am doing in therapy. So maybe pretending is wrong, and I am actually keeping up the good front.
I have thought about sending him an email, to address this since the dialogues I have in my head go better than face to face and in an email I can formulate my words better and then send them to him. We can then discuss it face to face.
No, I am not involved in therapy as much as I should be. I am speaking about too much that is superficial at the moment and not what really bothers me. So while pretending is not a really good term I am keeping my distance with him.
And the sleepiness does freak me out. I am hurt and feel like I am boring him. I think part of me is trying to extrapolate myself from this therapy because of this component.
And frankly I am unsure what to do next. Nor do I really know where I want to go.
But thanks for your input.rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:824636
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/824752.html