Posted by sassyfrancesca on March 18, 2008, at 10:54:17
In reply to What's wrong with me?, posted by Kahlee on March 18, 2008, at 7:06:46
> I am so tired of being hopeless. Don't misunderstand, I am not suicidal. I am glad to hear that.
I am a mother and that, above all, keeps me fighting everyday to find a way to make things better. I would never leave my babies. I am living in a loveless marriage.
I did that for 31 years (he was abusive; I finally got the courage to get a divorce) .
My husband is more like a roommate. We get along fine, but I have no desire to be intimate with him. We have had our issues, but he's a good man. He's never done anything horrible (cheat, abuse, etc.) I have this "pattern" with men. When we become close, like family, I am not able to be intimate anymore. Yes I was abused. Yes it was by a family member. I haven't told anyone about this but I am not in denial.
I just don't see how making this information public will help anything.
What do you mean by "making this information public?" To whom?
This site is able to assure anonymity, so I can say what I need to. Please don't attack me
I can't imagine anyone would attack you, sweetie.
and tell me that I am doomed because I am not willing to confront my abuser. I am beyond depressed. I am destroyed. I carry on everyday feeling this emptiness and sadness in my soul.
Have you considered therapy for yourself? Getting a good therapist can go a long way in beginning to untangle your emotions.
I want to release my husband from this union with me, he shouldn't have to live in a marriage without sex, without intimacy.
How does he feel about how you are living? Don't do anything, without talking to him.
I want what's best for him, and especially for my babies. I know that no matter what happens he and I will need to cooperatively co-parent for the rest of our lives. So would it be wise to end this before we end up hating one another?
Why would you hate each other?
I'm not a bad person, but I just don't know what to do. I have been so blessed in my life, I feel guilty that I can't find a way to be happy...
I would think the best thing you could do is (repeating myself) get into therapy to figure out all of these feelings and how to cope with everything that is going on.
There is nothing "wrong" with you except, if I read it correctly you were abused by a family member.
Things like that just don't go away or disappear (ever); until you can open up and express how you feel as to what was done to you; the pain will always be there
That happened to me, and 40 years later it has not been forgotten.
It changes you forever....BUT, there are ways to deal with it (healthy, as it therapy), but not throwing away your whole life because you feel so terrible, sweetie>
First things first: Get a good therapist specifically trained in sexual abuse/molestation (sorry, don't know exactly what happened, and don't need to)....that is a good start in getting help for yourself.......you may see things in a new light, and realize getting rid of a great husband is not the answer...for you....or your children. You are just so down and sad...I know.
The incidence of being sexually abused (for girls) is very high; something like 1 in 3.
Love, Francesca
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poster:sassyfrancesca
thread:818578
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/818606.html