Posted by sunnydays on August 6, 2007, at 18:17:28
In reply to More, posted by slugdoo on August 6, 2007, at 16:49:12
I agree he should not have raised his voice or said he doesn't think about you outside of session. It sounds like an off day.
As far as him asking why you think he doesn't want to work with you, I would ask you that as well. Just because he doesn't think about you outside of session doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or want to work with you. In fact, if he disliked you or didn't want to work with you, I would think he would be MORE likely to think about you outside of session. I have the same sort of fears that my T won't want to work with me anymore, and he always asks me questions like that. It's sort of a CBT reality check thing asking realistically why would he get mad at me, why would he leave, that sort of thing.
My T never offers to comfort me if I cry. He'll say it's alright to cry if I look like I'm holding it in and he'll tell me I'm doing fine, but nothing terribly comforting. I find it comforting what he tells me, but some Ts are trained not to talk when a client is crying to let them feel their feelings.
The joke at the end wasn't appropriate, but sometimes my T makes jokes at bad times when I'm upset too. He's trying to make me smile and it totally backfires and I get mad at him. But he means the best when he does it. I bet your T meant well by that comment.
He didn't say he didn't care if you die. My T would probably not go to my funeral. But he would care that I was dead. He has said he would visit me in the hospital if I was hospitalized and had to miss a session because of that, but he would not go to a friend's house to meet me if I had no way to get to a session, no matter what.
I would try to give him a chance to respond. But it might require you to not attack him and say you hate him. If you can approach him calmly and asking him what he meant, I bet you can work this out with him.
Good luck,
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:774336
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070726/msgs/774368.html