Posted by Lindenblüte on October 23, 2006, at 18:26:41
In reply to Re: ok-Mebbe this will help others too... » Lindenblüte, posted by muffled on October 23, 2006, at 15:31:36
Well, that onset of teenagerhood was a very interesting time point. I felt more power and independence that year (9th grade) than I would at any other time until I left home. probably b/c my older bro was inpatient and at another school. I was on my own- free to forge my own friendships, wear ridiculous clothes, and be bolder than usual.
I'm a very timid lindenblossom, in general, particularly when I'm wilting in the sunshine or tempest of my older bro's bipoles.
I had control over Pandora. Her behavior surprised me, and later I had regrets, but in the moment, I felt like I was justified in breaking rules and being rowdy- to a point. I never allowed myself to lose control over my body or mind via drugs or alcohol.
Now, I understand why I always WISHED to lose control, but never allowed myself to be reckless in the direction of losing control over my body.
Even in college, when I did some pretty heavy binge drinking, I always stopped short of losing power of observing who was a potential danger and keeping my distance.
This is a different topic. I might start a thread on when I get a moment to gather my thoughts.
Muff- I talked to my T today about intimacy following separation. She had some interesting suggestions: think about the part that makes me the most anxious. Think about a way that I can 'set the scene' and be the one who is making a decision about how when where it happens. She had some suggestions, which was kind of funny, hearing from a woman who is older than my mom! I think I might have giggled at one point. good gracious gassiness- sex is so strange sometimes...
-Li
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:696451
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061012/msgs/697074.html