Posted by Lindenblüte on September 20, 2006, at 21:18:15
In reply to Re: Blame, posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2006, at 20:23:27
I don't blame. Okay-- I blame Grandad, but he's long gone. Just because I don't blame my father though, doesn't mean that I cannot be angry with him for taking away some innocence of mine. I can still be angry without blame.
I guess the problem with blame is that it sets up some kind of cause-effect relationship that is very difficult to prove or even infer. It also sets up a dichotomy of the "guilty" and the "innocent" that is clearly delineated by a law. Sometimes there is not enough proof to demonstrate that a law was broken. Sometimes the laws we have aren't sufficient to explain the hurt we feel.
Anger & Hurt: these are more productive emotions than shame or guilt or blame. We do not have to sacrifice the good parts of our selves in order to feel angry or hurt. But in order to feel shame or to blame someone- we must necessarily admit that their action has changed us for the worse. I'm not sure that that admission is necessart or desirable.
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:686272
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/687762.html