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Re: yesterday at the clinic **triggers** caraher

Posted by ElaineM on June 30, 2006, at 16:12:58

In reply to Re: yesterday at the clinic **triggers**, posted by caraher on June 29, 2006, at 21:43:56

Caraher: Thank you so much for saying that about the "not intervening" stuff. I would never have thought of it that way! It makes me feel better thinking that's why he said it. That he would trick me into revealing that I do need help.

I kinda might not know what you mean by "Stockholm syndrome". Is that when you love someone who is bad for you so much, they seem good?

I feel really bad reading about my silence coming to harm another. It's horrible to think of, and feel like cr@p that I can't be more noble, but it is just too difficult right now. I truly believe he is not like this with anyone else. It took him like a year and a half to change with me, to how he is now. And I don't fit the usual profile of his clients - I'm older. I don't suspect in the least that another client is in danger. I'm not really in THAT kind of danger I don't think. Not like that. I have been before and I just think I would recognize it if it were to happen again.

I hope this part doesn't make you feel weird. I only learned that you're a man in one of your more recent posts, and it means alot to me that your message is so kind. I'm not used to men saying generous things for no other reason than being nice. It is hard for me to comprehend. My T doesn't sound like you anymore. I won't get into it because it's over, but I've come to kinda fear all men. My last T, who I loved so much, decided that she would send me to a male T to get me used to being around not only females anymore. I wish she had just kept me.

Anyways, sorry if anything I said creeps you out, or makes you mad. I didn't mean for it to. Just wanted to say that seeing you say nice things like the women makes me a little relieved, or hopeful, or something. (not that you're like a women ... I hope this isn't coming out all wrong. If it did, I never meant to offend you. I hope you know what I mean)

Thanks for trying to help, EL




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poster:ElaineM thread:662694