Posted by llrrrpp on June 25, 2006, at 11:14:01
In reply to helpful :) » llrrrpp, posted by ElaineM on June 25, 2006, at 10:51:20
I guess that's the whole Witness thing. When you have no one to share with, the despair of suffering alone makes the original problem itself continue to grow even bigger.
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Oh yes- I know what you mean. I saw a T for the first time only 4 months ago, and it took me a while to work up the courage, but I spilled some heavy stuff that I had been holding onto for many years. Stuff that had become like a cancer. Growing way out of proportion, simply because I didn't have the tools to cut it out and excise it on my own.> I used to write it (and other stuff) in a journal thinking, "If I'm ever not here, someone will find this at some point, and read it and know of everything." But I've found within the past year that that is not nearly enough anymore.
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me too. my journal has been somewhat neglected since I found p-babble. I found that it wasn't helping me much anyways; it was just making me too introverted and analytical (intellectualizing my emotions, which is not what I need)> If it's true that anything I whine about can help you in the smallest way, then that makes me happy. The idea that I could help someone, instead of destroy them, is comforting.
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Keep it coming! You wont destroy us. As long as you're civil (which you have been) you're not going to hurt us. and my arm thanks you; *I* thank you.> (And thanks for the help with the B-mail. I'm still thinking about turning it on. I'm ridiculously paranoid even though it's secure. It took me forever to get the courage to post my first response here. Plus, I'm computer-dumb, and stuff I don't know freaks me out a bit)
>you're most welcome for b-mail help. I'm really impressed that you are so open with everything that's going on. Now, I'm doubly impressed, because if you're paranoid about b-mail then it must take a LOT of courage to keep posting about your ongoing struggles to figure out what your relationship with your T is all about. You are even stronger than I first thought.
thanks for saying nice things about me. I'm trying to learn to take these things to heart and not summarily dismiss them on account of my negative self-esteem. Everytime I get a compliment is another opportunity for me to work on this.
Elaine, I have a really poor memory surrounding events that are traumatic for me. I have had a couple of these events in the time that I have been posting on babble. I have found it really helpful to read my ol posts to get perspective. My first post after an event, the post a few days after that, once I've had a chance to assimilate various reponses, and perhaps a post that I've resolved an issue, or once the crisis has passed.
I think it's fascinating how my reactions to reading the responses varies so dramatically. Sometimes the first time I read a response I'll be angry, disagreeing, hurt. Then, when I go back a few days later, a little "saner" it makes perfect sense.
You're so conflicted right now, it might help you to go back and reread some of your updates on your situation, if you haven't done so already. It will help you remember details of the sessions that you might not have integrated yet. It might jog your memory for things to watch out for, or patterns in your own attempts to figure out the big picture. It might inspire you to give a strategy a shot, and to carry through on plans that you've already set in motion.
best wishes to you, Elaine
and of course, more sunday morning hugs ((((hugs:))) and some fresh squeezed OJ, super pulpy. If you have to strain it, don't let me see. My feelings might be hurt!your friend,
ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:660687
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060623/msgs/661278.html