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Re: You were right **trigger ?** ElaineM

Posted by llrrrpp on June 23, 2006, at 17:11:53

In reply to You were right **trigger ?**, posted by ElaineM on June 23, 2006, at 16:53:09

> Now I'm sure something is definately broken. And really worried. Before, I only partly believed what you all were saying. I still wanted to think that my T and I were a version of regular. I was letting your momentum carry me through my doctors appointment. But now I know he's not being therapeutic, but only friend-like.

ElaineM, I'm so glad that you are able to think and write clearly about this. Your memory for the things in your sessions demonstrate that you are not crazy, that you have the mental tools to deal with this situation. You may not feel very level-headed right now, but you're doing SO WELL, given these very difficult circumstances. I'm very proud of you. You've taken a lot of risks and you are doing really well.

> I think writing so much about him here is making me paranoid. I still think he's not being predatory. I think he just cares alot, maybe too much. But I was so freaked out and shaky that I walked to a Psych. center and asked for an appointment, thinking, This is the last time I try. And the guy was young and nice, and asked what for. And I stammered out, To talk about my relationship with another T. I think he could tell I was upset, and he gave me one for Wed. So that's better. And it's a woman. That's better than July 7th. I can last until Wed without bursting right? And then she will help me and tell me what to say to fix everything. And maybe she will keep me, and then she can be my T, and he can just be my friend. I can do this, right. I can wait, it's not so long. Wed is not so far. And I didn't SI.

FANTASTIC! this is great news. What a relief. Someone IRL to be your witness, and just listen. I'm so SO PROUD of you that you are being proactive and finding resources to help yourself. I'm glad that the folks who will see you seem accomodating -- that's wonderful. And you will see a woman, which is probably a relief.

And finally- no SI. That's a real accomplishment. You deserve a treat for that. Is there something that you can do to reward yourself? Maybe go get your hair done, or a pedicure, or go on a shopping spree? An online shopping spree, if you don't feel up to going out much? Anyways, I am so very impressed with your calmness, clarity and your control today.

Keep posting, if you feel up to it, if it helps you at all? Otherwise, just chill out and take it easy. It's going to be okay. Do you feel like things are going your way? I do!

safe cyber hugs? hope that's okay?
smiles for you,




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