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Re: can professionals keep this a secret? » ElaineM

Posted by Tamar on June 16, 2006, at 15:53:51

In reply to Re: can professionals keep this a secret? » B2chica, posted by ElaineM on June 16, 2006, at 15:34:19

> Okay I'm getting really scared reading this. I assumed people would tell me that I was reading into nothing.

Sorry we weren’t able to reassure you. It really does sound pretty dangerous.

> I am too afraid to "stop seeing him immediately".

I know. I can understand that. And maybe you really do need another professional perspective. Is there any way you can talk to another (preferably female) therapist once or twice? We can give loads of advice, but a second therapist can really help you make a decision.

> I just couldn't, though it is nice of you to be concerned. I'm not used to having others respond to my questions either. I don't often ask things of people because I'm afraid no one would listen, or believe me, or want to help, so this whole thing is a bit new for me.

Welcome to Psychobabble! The care that people show for each other here restores my faith in human nature. Please be assured that we do believe you, and part of the reason is that some of us have had similar experiences.

> The thing I worry about is that I don't think he would hurt anyone, and that if I complained, and he got in trouble, I think it would crush him. In some ways I feel he could be more fragile than me. I'm used to people treating me like crap, and expecting the worst from the world, so I am not shocked when bad things happen to me.

Bad things should not happen to you. You don’t deserve bad things. You are a good person and you deserve health and happiness. (You’re wondering how I know you’re a good person, eh? It’s simple. I’ve seen one or two of your previous posts and it’s entirely clear to me that you have a very good heart. I’m always right about these things.)

> But he is normal, and has a life, and I think if I was mean enough to get him in trouble that he would be devastated.

I’m sure he would be devastated. But he is as aware of the professional guidelines as we are. He must know he is doing things that are not appropriate. He might not want to acknowledge it, but he must take responsibility for his behaviour in his professional field.

> Thanks for caring. I'm glad to know I can tell you all what's happening. It's going to be hard to decide what to do.

I know. He makes you feel good. How could you possibly leave him? And yet… he also makes you very anxious. At the moment perhaps it seems worth putting up with the anxiety because you enjoy the good feelings so much. Of course you’re not going to terminate tomorrow. He’s very important to you.

I really feel for you. You’re in an impossible situation. I honestly think the suggestion of seeing another therapist and talking it through would be a good idea. You would get an opportunity to disclose your anxieties and you’d also hear a qualified and authoritative opinion of your therapist’s behaviour. Please please confide in someone professional that you can trust.

(((((Elaine)))))

Your safety matters.


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