Posted by Tamar on February 24, 2006, at 18:44:09
In reply to Re: Iíve changed my mind: itís too scary (TRIGGERS) Ľ Tamar, posted by gardenergirl on February 24, 2006, at 16:05:28
> I don't have a lot of answers, but I wanted to let you know that I was talking about the need for connection with my T yesterday. It always makes me cry to think about it or talk about it. And I can't put into words just exactly why. All I know is I said I didn't want to skip this week (I've been really sick), even though I know I have a standing appt. on Mondays. I said that I didn't like going more than a week between sessions, while at the same time saying I didn't feel like doing therapy because I felt so lousy. Logically, it didn't make sense. But I just really felt the need to maintain connection with him. And it's a hard feeling for me to directly address. I try to protect myself from it, and I don't exactly know why. I did ALOT of talking around it yesterday.
Itís hard, isnít it? Maybe protecting ourselves is an inevitable attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt. But I reckon there is no way to avoid being hurt in therapy. I want to ask my T how and when and where exactly he plans to hurt meÖ
> All that just to say, I think I understand a bit of what you were hoping/reaching for. It's a very normal wish. There's nothing wrong with it. And it really DOES hurt when you reach out and aren't met halfway. Or at least partway.
YeahÖ partway would be enoughÖ
> I hope you can share this with him. And I wish you speedy healing for your wounds. All of them.