Posted by Tamar on February 24, 2006, at 18:16:31
In reply to Re: Iíve changed my mind: itís too scary (TRIGGERS) Ľ Tamar, posted by Voce on February 24, 2006, at 15:47:49
> Tamar, I'm so so sorry. It's hard enough when we're in the session and the T is saying the RIGHT responses to our questions, but then when they mess up and we can't take care of ourselves...well...that can feel so terrible. He could have used that question so artfully to get to the question behind the question, but he didn't. I guess we can't fault him TOO much because he's human but he should've known better.
Either that, or heís working from a theoretical perspective in which transference isnít discussedÖ I *hate* that. Yeah, he could have got behind the question, but I donít think he wanted to. And maybe itís for reasons that are professional rather than personal, but I donít think I can feel the difference.
> I agree with Dinah on this, I thought her post was right on. Everything is hurting you right now and therapy shouldn't be one of those things that hurts.
Thatís true. Dinahís very clever! And so are youÖ Yeah, I donít want therapy to hurt.
> I hope you don't hurt yourself any more. :-(
> P.S. Does the desire to cut off your breasts have something to do with age states? Like, you don't want to be a woman, you just want to be a kid and be safe and not deal with the scariness of adulthood?
I think you are probably onto something there. The 13 year-old doesnít want to become a woman. Iíve talked to her quite a bit; she wants my therapist to be a father-figure as well as a lover-figure and she wants his permission to be a sexual person and for her body to changeÖ She wants him to tell her that her teenage body is adorable; that having tiny breasts is sweet and that having only six pubic hairs is kinda cute. She wants him to be a little bit attracted to her, but in a safe and sensitive way. Ah, I love my fantasiesÖ