Posted by fairywings on December 15, 2005, at 10:45:35
In reply to Re: starting to feel the pain (long ) **triggers*** » fairywings, posted by LegWarmers on December 14, 2005, at 21:58:07
Hi LW, thanks for your reply.
> Can you express to him how you dont feel supported by him?
I think I'm going to have to tell him that he confuses me. One week he's very supportive, and the next he's challenging me. At first I felt the challeging me was minimizing what I went through. Now I know it's to try to get me to look at things differently. but it's so back and forth, back and forth. It's like he doesn't know what to do with me.
> The fear of being judged is understandable. But how bad is it? Do shirts not cover it? You never kjnow what another person will think, or say, or feel but I doubt that anyone would judge you negatvely. If they saw the scars and 'understood' what they were they would probably see someone who went through a very difficult time. Not judgements.
I hate the cold of winter, but love that it covers the scars. In the summertime they're somewhat faint, but still I can see them. My kids have never mentioned them, so I don't know how obvious they are. I just feel like they jump out in everyone's face, and that ppl will think I'm unstable.
> You can't, I posted about forgive and forget...in a sense I was thinking along the same lines. You just can't forget and move on. We are not machines and we do not have a standard time line to heal according to diffenrnet wounds, its individual, I wonder if maybe his pressure is making the process harder?
I agree, and it's painful to hear, "you need to move on", which he didn't say, but that's what i heard. He said, At what point do you move on? Heck, I don't know. First tell me how, then we'll see when. I know he doesn't want me to waste one more minute, and I appreciate that, but I've been this way for so long, I can't just turn it off.
> I was thinking that :), but I understand how that feels. Sure you could say that but I doubt it, I really wouldnt take it personally. Can you talk to him about these feelings? It will lift a huge load. i know we shouldnt think like this, but its a stressful time of the year... maybe hes is preoccupied.
I'm going to tell him it hurt that he didn't know we had an appt. bec. I know that he is usually prepared. I know it wasn't his fault, he's a good man, I'm just feeling a little irrational I guess.
> People are vary wary of the internet, its definately one of those things you can't understnad until you have done it.
I know Tamar hit this one on the head, he knows I don't feel safe with IRL stuff, so I have internet friends. It feels safer, less anxious. I told him a long time ago I need to do email therapy.
> you didn't go on and on
>
> Im sorry you feel so bad :(Thanks LW, you're so kind, and I really appreciate your thoughts.
fw
poster:fairywings
thread:589142
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/589319.html