Posted by daisym on December 15, 2005, at 0:02:47
In reply to starting to feel the pain (long ) **triggers***, posted by fairywings on December 14, 2005, at 20:19:22
I know you don't think so but you are doing really, really well. You've told your therapist a lot of painful stuff -- and that is hard to do.
I'll ask you the question my therapist always asks me: "Do you think I want you to get over this because YOU think you should be over it?" It is really hard to sort out projection. I think you should check your assumptions with your therapist.
It is a long process and learning to trust is for me the hardest part. I'm always braced for that moment when it seems I've leaned too much, talked to much or not made the other person laugh for too long.
And faith is this amazingly resilent thing. Just when you think you've completely lost it you see something that flickers it back to life. Like the curls on a newborn or a snowflake on your child's nose. Life is good and bad. As hard as it is to remember that sometimes, I think it is important.
Your scars are probably much more noticeable to you and much more obvious to you than anyone else. I have a rope burn across my arm that i got water skiing. It could be any number of things. I rarely get asked about it. Your internal scars worry me a great deal more.
Maybe one of the things you can do is try to imagine what it would look like for you to "move on." How do you think you would want to feel? What would be different? What does the term mean to you? I think writing this down might be a good way to bring it up with your therapist.
Hang in there. This is the hard part.
poster:daisym
thread:589142
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/589219.html