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Re: Don't know how to bring this up with T (trigge

Posted by greyskyeyes on September 28, 2005, at 9:38:02

In reply to Re: Don't know how to bring this up with T (trigge, posted by fairywings on September 27, 2005, at 12:48:07

>>> After I read this it occurred to me that the stress of my "illness" didn't overwhelm me until after the birth of our 4th child, then it was just too much for me, and I've been overwhelmed so, so much of the time since then. The point I'm trying to make is that being a mom can be so overwhelming, maybe that's part of the difficulty when you get stressed out.

Oh you definitely got that right. Unfortunately, it only took 1 child for me to get this way! Unfortunately, my son often IS the trigger for me. I adore him beyond all possible words, but toddlers can be so irrational and frustrating! We've had to scrap our plans for more children because he has been so overwhelming for me.

How do you do it with 4??? Wow. I am so impressed! I would have run screaming into the woods by now. How old are they?

>>>My husband is also very loving, kind, and patient, but sometimes I think he thinks he has just one more child on his hands - when I'm in tears, when I'm complaining about my past, when I'm pitching a fit. LOL (of course he can be a kid too, but...)

Yes on both!! He does treat me like a child sometimes... but boy can HE act like one! :) Guess that's every relationship though!

>>> I think it's great that you have joint sessions, but my T told me not to ask my husband's opinions on what's going on with me when things are going wrong because he said that he just doesn't understand "these things". I still talk to him about things, just don't let him tell me there's something wrong with me.

That's a great point. It was hard even dragging him into therapy with me in the first place. He encourages me to go, he just has a hard time with it himself. I wonder if it's a male thing? :D Although don't you think it's important to emphasize the biological nature of what's going on? That way they're less accusational...

Last year I got him to see someone recommended by my T, and the 4 of us would also have joint sessions. I think he mostly discussed me in his private sessions! But the good thing was that, through the joint sessions his T got to know me very well (he's the one that did my assessment) so he was able to use the private sessions to explain to my husband much of what was going on. Show him the other side of the fence, so to speak.

I guess that's a major component of the problem... if you haven't experienced it then you don't fully understand. That we don't do what we do because we want to... that our reactions are the result of ingrained patterns developed a long time ago, or biological anomalies, or both.

~ grey




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