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Re: Don't know how to bring this up with T (trigge

Posted by greyskyeyes on September 27, 2005, at 9:55:50

In reply to Re: Don't know how to bring this up with T (trigger?) Ľ greyskyeyes, posted by Tamar on September 27, 2005, at 6:17:30

>>> I had a few temper-tantrums when I was very depressed and itís a horrible feeling, so I sympathise. I also wanted to hurt myself (it was either myself or someone elseÖ). And it was always over something insignificant. I also *really* didnít want to talk about it because I was so ashamed of it and I was so worried about what my therapist might think of me.

Yeah, that's *exactly* it. Wow, it's nice to feel understood. :) The feeling of wanting to hurt someone else is the hardest to deal with, I think. And yes, it does feel so shameful to have these impulses, and to "lose it" over something insignificant. It's bad enough to have my family witness it, I don't want my T to know... kinda funny, huh, I tell her everything else.

>>> In my case I was always triggered by something and I completely lost the plot. Iíve learned to recognise those triggers now

But it's so *hard*! <whines> It's easy enough to talk about it but another thing to be in the moment. The recognition is the hardest thing for me and I so need to work on it. How do you manage to remain calm?

>>> and Iím getting better at articulating my reactions in words, and Iíve talked about it a lot with my husband, so he has more idea of what my triggers are and why I react the way I do.

Sigh... my husband is a very understanding and loving man but he just doesn't seem to understand this. I feel as though he thinks I do it on purpose. I was "in remission" for the first 10 years of our relationship, so this is still relatively new to him. He is supportive but deep down, I think he still has a hard time understanding mental illness and seemingly irrational responses. But that's what joint sessions are for, right?

>>> Iím glad youíve already experienced her as accepting, because I hope you will be able to believe that she wonít hold it against you. If anything, I imagine she will feel compassion for you because she will understand that this is very difficult for you, and I imagine she will be impressed at your courage in talking about it.

Thank you, that actually makes me (almost) feel confident. There's a part of me that believes this, but there's still that (little girl) part of me that screams No, she won't understand, she'll reject us and then there will we be? And that my self-worth will lie on the floor in shreds.

>>> As for how to beginÖ maybe you could start by saying thereís something you want to talk about but youíre worried about how she might react.

Hmmm, good idea.

>>> it might be helpful for you to talk to her about it before your joint session with your husband. I imagine that saying it all in front of him could be quite difficult.

Yeah. I think I'm going to bring everything up today. Whoa this is going to be an interesting session. Ack. Cross your fingers for me.

Thank you for your support Tamar... you are very insightful. :)

~ grey




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