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Confusing my ex T with my dad?

Posted by pinkeye on April 27, 2005, at 12:57:24

For those of you who have been following my threads.. I need to vent this out and process it.

Anyway, I realized today that none of the feelings that I have had are really about my ex T. Maybe a tiny bit of it has to do with him, but almost all of them have to do with my father.. My new T is really very wise in pointing that out to me. For many years, my father almost treated me like a surrogate wife - not physically, but emotionally. And it had got me all confused about emotional intimacy. I got confused and was behaving like a wife for my father - not in a physical sense, but emotionally, I was providing him all the emotional companionship and intimacy he needs. And I got myself totally confused and angry at myself for feeling the way I was feeling.

My new T is now saying that I need some clarification now - from my dad. As to whether I was imagining all this and was to be blamed or whether he was really doing it. She says she is 100 % confident that my father was responsible for the ways that I got confused.

She says I am just replaying the scenario and getting hurt with my ex T, becuase it is much easier to project all the feelings towards him than my father. And I remember feeling like I want my T to admit me he likes me - an admission which I really should have got from my dad - that he was trying to get his emotional needs met from me, when he really shouldn't have done that.

And I think that makes perfect sense.


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poster:pinkeye thread:490382
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/490382.html