Posted by Tamar on April 14, 2005, at 3:46:42
In reply to Re: worst fear come true? » Shortelise, posted by pinkeye on April 13, 2005, at 21:15:36
Maybe I misunderstood, but my sense that your T didn't do the termination right came from the part of your first post in this thread where you said:
>he sent a mail one day to terminate me and left off.That doesn't sound to me like a proper termination process. He should have given you an opportunity at the end to talk through how you would feel without him. Maybe he did that, and I just didn't get that from your post.
About your fear that he didn't like you: I suspect we've all felt that way about our therapists. I certainly thought sometimes that my T didn't like me. But in my case it was definitely connected to my negative feelings about myself. My T didn't dislike me at all; I just didn't feel very likeable and I projected it onto him. Could that be the case with you?
It sounds as if you're being quite hard on yourself, expecting you could have been indifferent to him. I think it would be hard to make any progress if you were indifferent to your T. And I wonder if he could have handled your wish to be liked a little more sympathetically. He might have asked you to explore why you wanted so much to be liked by him: he might have asked whether you were really looking for approval from your father, for example.
I'm not trying to bash your T, but it seems a shame to see you blaming yourself for your feelings, when perhaps your T could have been a little more helpful in exploring your feelings with you.
poster:Tamar
thread:483783
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/484020.html