Posted by Tamar on April 13, 2005, at 17:38:35
In reply to Re: worst fear come true? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on April 13, 2005, at 17:09:17
It’s natural to feel rejected and abandoned after therapy comes to an end, even with a good termination process, and it sounds like you didn’t have a proper termination process, so it must be even harder for you. No wonder you feel your worst fear has come true.
In a way, he did abandon you if he terminated you without doing it in a therapeutic way. But perhaps it’s not the rejection it feels like. In other words, perhaps it wasn’t really about *you* but about his circumstances. I know it must feel as if he didn’t care about you, but I still think it’s impossible for a T to hear all our most personal thoughts and feelings and not care. They must care at some level, even if it’s not quite the same way we care about them.
You said, ‘one day we needed to stop anyway’ but perhaps that day came too soon for you, and not in the right way. Maybe talking about it with a new therapist would help. Is that possible for you?
You also said you don’t trust your husband. Do you mean you don’t trust him not to leave you? Or is it something else (you don’t have to answer me; I’m just posing the question). Is it related to the concerns you expressed recently about having to choose between going back to your country with him or staying where you are without him?
Forming healthy attachments to men is very problematic to any woman who has a less-than-ideal relationship with her father, and therapy should offer some solutions, but if it’s terminated too abruptly it can just add to the problems. I wonder if you might benefit from going through this with a new T. What do you think?
I hope the pain passes as soon as possible.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:483783
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/483840.html