Posted by LG04 on February 18, 2005, at 3:45:01
In reply to Re: The next step » LG04, posted by messadivoce on February 18, 2005, at 1:08:30
it's funny, as i was writing i was thinking to myself that it's sexist of me to assume the VP is a man. especially since i consider myself a feminist. old habits are hard to break.
i understand feeling shaky about mentioning a potential lawsuit. it could backfire and make them feel threatened and defensive and uncooperative. and as you said, you aren't sure yet of the circumstances of this whole thing.
i suppose the question to ask yourself is what you are wanting to get out of this meeting. an apology? an admission of irresponsibility and unethical behavior? an explanation of what happened? an opportunity for you to educate them on what a person's therapist can mean to them and how emotionally attached we can get to them? for them to understand how much this has hurt you? for them to do something about it, like giving you time with your therapist? all of the above? something else?
this might help you clarify exactly how you want to approach the meeting. and there's nothing wrong with writing down a few notes if you are the type to get nervous and then leave and say to yourself, "darn! i forgot to say this and this!" (and again this may be cynical, but i'd keep my expectations low. you may or may not get what you want from them, or something in between. maybe view this meeting as something that you need to do for yourself and your integrity, and if they happen to respond in a way that you like, consider it a bonus. This is how i confronted my dad about the abuse. i decided that i had to do it for me and my self-respect, and that his potential response was simply not the issue. it helped me so much to approach it that way.)
also, do you have a plan for what to do immediately afterwards? a friend you can arrange to meet or call? a coffeehouse where you can go and write in a journal? coming straight to Babble to tell us what happened? i find that when i am really scared of a situation, it helps immensely if i have a plan for what to do right afterwards. because you are right, you don't know what you will find out, i.e. if they had to let your therapist go or whatever. it could be upsetting and ungrounding. make sure you have some kind of support set up right afterwards if you can, at least as an option. sometimes i even set something up beforehand too. something to calm me before i go, and to soothe me after i leave. i call it "bookending."
and yes, i will totally be there in spirit. 100%. when is the meeting? so i can send good thoughts your way. i hate when institutions make decisions without regard to the PEOPLE who depend on that institution. and i've also had to leave several therapists for reasons beyond my control (insurance usually) and even though it's not the same as your situation, it really hits a raw nerve.
You'll do great.
LG04
poster:LG04
thread:457966
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050211/msgs/459739.html