Posted by LG04 on February 18, 2005, at 0:54:58
In reply to The next step, posted by messadivoce on February 17, 2005, at 10:49:02
how about mental anguish, abandonment, emotional abuse? even if your therapist left of her own accord b/c she was demoted as director (which they MUST have anticipated, it's rare that a person accepts a demotion), they should have offered to pay her for at least a month or more so she could do some kind of transitioning/termination with her clients. shouldn't the students have been their numbei one priority all along? shouldn't they have been communicating with the students using the service that possible changes were being discussed? shouldn't they have made sure that any therapist who decided to leave due to these changes was given enough time (and salary) -- even ORDERED -- to meet with her clients for a given amount of time in order to be responsible about termination? how these changes might affect the student clients should have been their very first priority and they should have had a very clear plan for dealing with this possibility in a moral and least damaging way possible. don't let them blame your therapist and avoid taking any responsibility. this guy you are meeting with is above her. he needs to be accountable and do something to correct this wrong.
i think their behavior is outrageous and also dangerous. maybe you could educate him a bit about attachment and how difficult it is to begin to trust a therapist and how this is a trauma for you (it sounds like it is, i know it would be for me) and instead of being helped by the service you have now been deeply harmed.
i could go on and on. i would try to keep your emotions in check to some degree, i have found that men in positions of power don't give much credence to hysterical women even if we have every right to be hysterical. (again, i know if i were in your situation, i could break down sobbing so i am just speaking as if it were me). i think having your eyes well up with tears is effective though. this is not manipulative, this is doing everything you can to express how hurt and angry you feel without discrediting yourself in his eyes. just my opinion.
maybe i am being cynical, it's just that i have been the sobbing woman before and it worked very much against me. as i said, maybe for you it's not even an issue. some people are the exact opposite, not wanting to give the satisfaction of showing even a speck of emotion. while others prefer some kind of a middle ground. i get too emotional in situations like this so that's the place i am coming from.
lastly, and i do not say this lightly, i know that i would find a way to respectfully hint that without appropriate time for termination, a lawsuit could be in order. i hate how "sue - happy" our culture is but once in a while i think there is good cause to sue and this is one of those times. not in a threatening way that would create some kind of power showdown, but in a way that shows the seriousness with which you view this issue. isn't there something in the "by-laws" of the university about caring for the welfare of its students? or in the by-laws of the health service? maybe you can find some kind of written document that says something like this and indicate that they have broken their "contract" with you, as a student. if it's clear that their actions have gone against something that is in writing, this might scare them enough to offer you something, such as an appropriate amount of time to meet with her to deal with transition and termination issues. (as if there's such a thing when it was totally unexpected...but still, it seems like any amount of time that you could process this with your T would be helpful).
okay well that's my opinion for whatever it's worth. i am furious at your university, can you tell?
please keep us updated. and it's really brave and wonderful that you are fighting this.