Posted by Shortelise on February 15, 2005, at 23:23:17
In reply to Yikes! Now I've done it!, posted by Daisym on February 15, 2005, at 21:07:33
The question I would be asking myself is, why do I need to believe I am so taxing? What has happened to make me think that I am a "problem"? Why won't I allow myself to hear that I am not "too taxing"? What will happen to me if I am too taxing?
DaisyM, is it at all possible that you are not an "easy" client but that your T likes you, likes working with you? Maybe you are interesting, maybe your challenges are challenging to your T and maybe, just maybe, he finds that interesting.
I think we're all at different stages with our T's. I am at a fairly peaceful stage, no longer wanting to rip his office apart and accuse him of hating my guts. I am sure that a couple of his clients are in that stage, and a few others are completely different, working on things that challenge him very differently than I might.
I don't know what you want him to say. Maybe you'd like to hear is, Daisy, you're ok, and I'm ok with you. You don't need to worry about me, I can take care of myself. I won't abandon you, I won't hurt you, and we'll work through all of this together.
Would you like to ask him "if I am not too taxing, where is the boundary, and what would crossing it look like and what would happen if I did"?
You wonder how many clients he sees as often as he sees you? If he says none, how would you feel? If he says fifteen, how would that make you feel?
Maybe you need to ask him if you are burning him out. Maybe you need to hear that he is ok with you, ok with your feelings and the intensity of your therapy. Maybe you need to hear that he feels you deserve the attention he gives you, that you needit and he is happy to provide it.