Posted by fallsfall on February 16, 2005, at 7:45:31
In reply to Re: Yikes! Now I've done it! » fallsfall, posted by daisym on February 16, 2005, at 0:07:51
> I think you are biased. :)
*** Maybe he is, too...
> I don't know why I can't believe him. It seems to be the universal message that you need to be careful about how much you admit to needing your therapist, especially to them. It is subtle, but even here on the board, there is some disapproval of dependency and frequent therapy.
*** Need I remind you that allowing my dependency and *increasing* the frequency of my therapy is what has made the difference for me?
*** Some people do great with every other week CBT. Some don't. For those who do, that's great! But that doesn't mean that those of us who don't thrive with that type of therapy are "wrong". You are not a lemming. "Just because everybody else is doing it, doesn't make it the right thing to do."
*** Was I "bad" to get *worse* with CBT? Do you think less of me because I have found a therapy that is helping me? Am I "weak" for insisting that I will continue with something that is helping me? "Yes, but..." But what? If I deserve to have a therapy that helps, why don't you deserve it?
> Interestingly enough, I had a pdoc appointment today. She said that given my life, I have every reason to feel anxiety, even with out working on past issues. She also said that it takes strength to do deep therapy work...going more does not necessarily mean you are unstable. She offered different kinds of meds but it was nice to hear that it wasn't "just" my internal resources failing...things actually are hard!
*** Yes, things *ARE* hard. I'm glad that you heard that today.
> Still doesn't answer why I suddenly want to compare myself to my therapist's other clients.
*** And your therapist wants to explore this with you. You don't have to figure this out all by yourself. It isn't a test, where *you* have to come up with the answer. The whole point of therapy is that there is someone else there who is helping you to think things through. So, now you have a new question - you don't yet have the answer. Someday you will have the answer (if you allow the question...). That someday doesn't have to be today. You have time to figure it out.
Breathe, and be patient.