Posted by gardenergirl on September 16, 2004, at 12:28:12
In reply to Re: Just Need to Babble - sorry, long, posted by daisym on September 15, 2004, at 23:22:48
> GG,
>
> There are tears in my eyes. I want to believe everything you wrote... I guess there is still old guilt for starting therapy for a completely different reason and ending up here, in this mess. He didn't know what he was getting himself into.Daisy, if you knew everything that was in your unconscious, you wouldn't need therapy. I like to think that therapists are prepared for twists and turns. I know from my own experience with clients that the first thing they come in with as a "presenting problem" is often not the real issue at all. It's like a "try on" issue to see if therapy is okay and safe. And it provides an opportunity for the relationship to develop before delving into bigger things.
>
> And how much of this do I let her tell him? And how detailed am I supposed to get...I still use such broad general terms and expressions. I wish I knew the "rules", GG,...it is hard for someone like me to just dump it all out there and expect someone to be OK with it.I think the only "rules" are what works for you. I think I understand wanting to do it right and not making a breech of therapy etiquette. But I really don't know how that can happen. Unless you were someone who got some kind of gratification or reinforcement out of sharing very intimate details (and I'm sure that is not you), then whatever you need to tell is right.
>
> >
> And that is this ongoing fight. I'm afraid to go down and a path and take him with me if I don't know where it is leading. Because I don't know what he will say about the destination once we arrive.I'm like this in some ways, too. I always want to have things figured out before I bring them into therapy. That's kind of putting the cart before the horse, eh? I do this at the doctor's too.
>
> I guess I still have a lot of work to do around trust. You'd think after a year I'd be further along than this!I was struggling with this, too. I just yesterday told my T something I have been withholding for more than a year from him. Heck, I didn't even tell my hubby for three years. At first I told myself that I didn't tell my T because I wanted to protect him and I wasn't sure I completely trusted what his response would be. But over the last week I discovered another piece to it. If I told him, it would make it real. I couldn't pretend about it any more. I would have to pull my head out of the sand. Of course now I want to dive right back in there and play ostrich, but now it feels kind of silly. I know that at least HE can see me, even if I can't see him! :) I don't know if that is any part of your distress, but it was an important realization for me.
>
> Thanks again for the warm thoughts. They are very much appreciated.
> DaisyAnytime, sweets.
GG
>
poster:gardenergirl
thread:391233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/391509.html